One Year Anniversary

December 26th, 2009 marks the one-year anniversary to my corneal abrasion. Exactly that day one year ago, I got a big scratch on my right eye's cornea. I had to back out from being a pianist at a friend's wedding, and a thousand of inconveniences in the aftermath.

The Lord uses a very unique way to "celebrate" this anniversary with me. On December 20, I woke up with a sore right eye. I thought it was just either tiredness from the previous night, so I did not worry about it. The next day, December 21, symptoms of abrasion started to come back (i.e. slightly blurry vision, a bit of pain, sensitive to light ... thank God they were only minor so my daily routines were not affected). I was very afraid that the abrasion will occur once again. I prayed to God, "Lord, it has been a year since the first abrasion happened. I am not sure whether I can handle yet another relapse because it has happened several times and I'm tired of it. Plus, this week is a crucial week for work (A&W). Are you telling me to back off?" As I said my prayer, the Lord told me everything would be all right. You know, with the symptoms appearing, it's hard to believe everything would be all right. But I still prayed for faith and grace from the Lord, and moved on to my tasks.

I managed everything fine that day. The next day, the symptoms were still there and I prayed the same things, and again I managed fine. The routine repeated the entire week. On Boxing Day, which was the day of anniversary, I was concerned that I would collapse suddenly at A&W, while the shop was crazily busy. I would not be so concerned if I was not a supervisor at the shop, who had to oversee the entire cashier session that day. Praise the Lord, I woke up good-spirited (though I only had 5.5 hours of sleep - I had to get up at 5am), and I felt I had extra strength to work. I worked (and that means, standing) 13 hours straight that day, and I still felt fine at the end of the day. Of course, consequently, I slept for 12 hours that night to recuperate.

The day after (December 27), I read 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 on the Bible, and it made me reflect on the purpose behind last week's adventure, as well as the multiple recurrence of this illness through the year:

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

又恐怕我因所得的啟示甚大 ，就過於自高，所以有一根刺加在我肉體上，就是撒但的差役要攻擊 我，免得我過於自高 。為這事 ，我三次求過主 ，叫這刺離開我。他對我說 ： 我的恩典夠你用的，因為我的能力是在人的軟弱上顯得完全。所以 ，我更喜歡誇自己的軟弱，好叫基督的能力覆庇我。我為基督的緣故，就以軟弱 、凌辱、急難、逼迫、困苦為可喜樂的 ；因我甚麼時候軟弱， 甚麼時候就剛強了。

The Lord made me accept my appearance with glasses through the multiple relapses. Like most of the girls on earth, I would like to look pretty, and I thought I looked better in contact lenses. So, I always calculated the days I had to wait before I can wear contact lenses again while I was ill. God punished me for my disobedience. Through the relapses, He told me it was not the way it's supposed to be. Whatever ways God made it in, they are always good, so I should gladly accept them.

Last week's incidents were just another proof of God's abundant grace. If God did not sustain me, I don't know if I could manage the intense work at A&W that week. Also, I think God was trying to tell me, "See, Quennie, I have gone through this entire year with you, and you come out fine."

Though I am weak, God makes me strong. It's so true. Amen.

Loving-kindness from Parents

A saying in the Chinese culture says, "You only realize how loving your parents are until you start taking care of your own kids." ﹝養兒方知父母恩﹞ Well, I am still child-less at this point, but I can tell you that, "I realize how loving my parents are as I start taking care of myself." ﹝養「己」方知父母恩﹞

My parents moved out to a new apartment just a month ago, leaving my brother and I (and our new roommate) alone in the house we are living in right now. That means we have to cook ourselves and do housekeeping ourselves. Also, we have to take care of bills and do groceries shopping. Not having done those tasks a lot, they were first quite overwhelming and tiring. In the old days, when I go home from school/work, I would just be resting, minding my own business and waiting for dinner. Nowadays, if I am off work in the afternoon, I would either have to get groceries, and/or have to start preparing for dinner as soon as I get home. Sometimes I'd prepare the food before I go to work so that I have something to eat when I get home. Of course, the three of us take turns to cook/make soup/do dishes, but at least one of those tasks would happen to me every day.

With all that, I get tired a little easier at night. That's good; it actually makes me sleep earlier. It also makes me realize how hard it has been for my parents to take care of the family when my brother and I were still young.

I didn't want to leave apart from my parents again so soon, but I knew God was trying to tell me that it's time for real independence. So even though it is a little hard to adapt this new lifestyle at the beginning, I still thank God for it. Each challenge God gives me is something to prepare for my future, and He will never let me experience something I cannot bear. Furthermore, I learn to appreciate my parents more.

As a small reminder to all of us: Honour Our Parents, whether or not we live with them at this moment. They have worked so hard to nurture us (even though they might not have the best temper on earth) and nothing can replace their loving-kindness. For those who are still living with their parents: I hope you enjoy the times while you still can. :-)

Humility Comes before Honour

Do not underestimate how a big lesson can be taught through a small mistake.

So today I worked at A&W. I was assigned to work early in the morning to open the save and supervise the day shift. Opening the save was supposed to be an easy task and I thought I should be able to handle this since I had done this once before, and I had copied down all the instructions. Therefore, with much confidence, I attempted to open the save.

The first time, I could not open. The second time, I could not open. The third time, fourth, fifth ... I started to get a bit frustrated. I wondered why the save wasn't behaving. I intended to keep trying until the save would open for me. But in the end, I still had to call my mom (who was also the store manager) for help because not only I could not get it open regardless how I tried, there was some troubleshoot to the debit machines.

Anyhow, mom dropped by to see what the problems were (she was supposed to have a day off today). After she fixed the debit machines, she asked me to perform how to open the save. I did what I thought it should be, and immediately she spotted one error I made - I overdid one of the steps. URGH! When the problem was finally realized, I slammed the door shut and started crying. At the moment I felt I was totally incompetent because I couldn't perform such a small task! Not only that, I have already made many errors since I started my supervisor training!

Later in the day I realized my grumpiness was silly. Well, it was hard to prevent given the rough situation, but I thought I should be humble and willing to accept making mistakes. I should not be too confident about (or to pressure myself to) doing everything 100%, especially when I am still new to this position.

Thank You, Lord, for such an invaluable lesson today.

敗壞之先，人心驕傲；尊榮以前，必有謙卑。 ﹝箴言 18:12﹞
Before his downfall a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honour. (Proverbs 18:12)

幽谷之舞 Dance in the Valley

This song came to my mind as I had devotions last night. I thought I would share it for encouragement. Translations are provided for those who can't read Chinese (though not the best translations ...). :-)

幽谷之舞 Dance in the Valley
曲/詞 Words and Music by: Terence Leung

神你的光 光照我
使我一生不再徬徨
從你的恩典 我竟得釋放
我的心不再慌

效法施洗約翰一生宣告
主原是這光
叫靈魂 不再失喪
凡接待祂的 此際要奔往

從你從我的一生 可以見到
主的拖帶 沒有卻步
幽谷可以跳舞 患難裡總不跌倒
急風雖會臨到 我未會迷途

開心失意亦要祈禱
深知主領著我每步
幽谷可以跳舞 患難裡總不跌倒
天天緊靠耶穌 人生怎會枯躁

Lord, Your Light shines upon me
So I would not be lost
By Your grace I have freedom
I do not fear anymore

Like John the Baptist, we should proclaim that
God is the Light
To reach the lost souls
Anyone who receives Him will be free

We can see from our lives that
God's guidance never stops
We can dance in the valley, for we will not fall during adversities
Difficulties will come but we will not be lost

We should pray whether we are happy or unhappy
Because we know God will guide our footsteps
We can dance in the valley, for we will not fall during adversities
Follow Jesus closely, and our lives will be not be dry.

A New Life

After 2 days of driving (thanks dad!), with a night's stay at Salmon Arm, finally I am back in Calgary. I don't have the fervent excitement I had when I made my decision of moving back home, but I still look forward to what God has in store for me in my new chapter of life.

Nevertheless, I know things are not going to be easy. I have to get used to living with my family again; I have to reconnect with my friends in Calgary; I have to launch my career. And while I am doing all of the aforementioned, I still have to, and would like to, maintain all the relationships on the other side (Vancouver).

But hey, all my beloved ones, remember: "My (God's) grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." May the grace of the Lord be with you all always. :-)

On the Road ...

To this day four years ago, I left Calgary for Vancouver to pursue higher education in music.

Now, I am on the road again back to Calgary.

Four years pass in a blink of the eye. I am still who I am. However, there are many things of me that have changed. I am entering my next stage of life with a new self.

Thank God for all the things I have been through in Vancouver. Learning experience, working opportunities, friendships, mentorships, discipleships ... They are all gifts from God and I would always treasure them.

Miracle

For a moment I doubted if the sunset night was going to happen for fellowship because of the cloudy weather all day long.

But just before I headed out, the sky cleared and the sun reappeared.

So, even though it wasn't all bright and hot, we were still able to watch the sunset and play some games at the beach. Perhaps we wouldn't want to run around if it was crazily hot and stuffy. So, the event was all the more enjoyable under this moderate temperature.

God's grace is always timely. He makes things happen in just the right time. If He wasn't in control of all things, how can things fit so perfectly?

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

Hallelujah!

Conclusion to My One-Year Covenant with the Lord ...

There is no better way to conclude this than a prayer, which is the following hymn:

我知誰掌管前途/I Know Who Holds the Future
生命聖詩(Hymns of Life)#283首
Music and lyrics by Alfred B. Smith; 中文譯詞：劉福群、何統雄

我知誰掌管前途，我知祂握著我手；
在神萬事非偶然，都是祂計劃萬有。
故我面臨的遭遇，不論大小的難處，
我信靠行奇事的神，一切交託主。

I know who holds the future, and I know He holds my hand;
With God things don't just happen ev'rything by Him is planned.
So as I face tomorrow with its problems large and small,
I'll trust the God of miracles, give to Him my all!

大個了，不可再任性…

完美的畢業典禮 A Perfect Graduation

FINALLY, I'm graduated from my last degree (for the time-being) - Diploma in Music Performance!!! I must tell you this diploma is not easy to achieve, and praise the Lord that I was able to finish with lots of merits, and a perfect graduation ceremony.

For the first time, my whole family (mom, dad, younger brother and aunt) attended the ceremony. My brother did not come to my B.Mus. and M.Mus. graduations, and my aunt was absent from my B.Mus. graduation. This time around, they all took time off from their work to come to Vancouver to celebrate with me. My aunt (my mom's younger sister), even though she is not biologically related to me, I always regard her as part of my immediate family. For she has lived with us for several years before, and we have done many things together.

Before the ceremony we were worried we might get lousy weather, but praise the Lord it was sunny throughout the day!! I do not recall lousy weather in ANY of the graduations in my life, although we were close a couple of times. The sun just makes EVERYTHING in the environment look more beautiful! I'm awe-struck by God's wonderful creation and amazing grace!

If you have been to a graduation ceremony before, you would know each of the graduates would be called by our names, and we would march across the stage to be congratulated by the president of the school and a couple of other faculty members. Graduates would get applause and/or cheers from their fellows, and usually the last one would get the most (or close to the most) applause/cheers because that marks the end of the ceremony and people are happy that they are finally and officially done. This time, I was very honoured to be the last person on the graduate list for my ceremony and so I was the last one to march across the stage! I know, from the bottom of my heart, that it's a special arrangement from God - not only He wanted me to have a grand finish to my school life, but also to show my family that their daughter has worked really hard to achieve what she has achieved. And I tell you, God must also be VERY proud that I have kept my faith in Him despite all the adversities I have encountered in my university life. :-D

Quite a few of my friends showed up to the photo session. Thanks so much for coming! It just added so much more cheerfulness to my ceremony!

My family and I went to 王府井 for king crab (皇帝蟹) and winter melon soup (冬瓜盅) in the evening. My mom has wanted to try the king crab for a LONG time, and finally, with my brother's presence (since he eats lots), we were able to fulfill mom's dream!

So that's why I said it's a perfect graduation for me. Thank You my Lord! <3

提摩太後書 II Timothy 4:7-8
那美好的仗我已經打過了，當跑的路我已經跑盡了，所信的道我已經守住了。從此以後，有公義的冠冕為我存留，就是按著公義審判的主到了那日要賜給我的；不但賜給我，也賜給凡愛慕他顯現的人。
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.

Now I have to collect my mind and continue to think about what's next.

Baptismal Service

So it is now about 1 hour past Easter. If I were home a bit earlier and not having to do so much networking online, I might be able to write this up before midnight.

Anyhow, a few hours ago was my church's baptismal service. It was also a secret celebration of my 11th baptism anniversary. Yes, I got baptized yesterday 11 years ago. Time flies, eh?

Shortly I got baptized at WCCAC (my home church), I gained myraid opportunities to serve, such as playing the piano in Sunday services. As the church truly appreciated my musical skills (thanks for the commend and thank God for the gifts), I was often asked to play in important events such as Christmas service, Easter service or baptismal service. Same thing repeated year after year, and gradually I started to wonder whether they had asked me to play because they really appreciated me, or because it had become a habit. Seriously, whenever they needed someone on piano, they would always ask me first. Usually I would be happy to help, but eventually I got quite tired of it. I was especially tired with playing in the baptismal service, as it had stayed in the same format for the longest time. Not only that, the church did not even bother to change the hymns they sing in the service. It was always either "Amazing Grace" or "I Have Decided". And then we always had to sing "O! Happy Day!" I remember playing "O! Happy Day!" 28 times in a row in one of the services. I couldn't possibly find another way to play it!

It was only after I moved to VCAC (my current church) that I started to pick up the joy in serving in baptismal service again. I didn't say "playing" but "serving" instead because I've played different roles such as worship leader, pianist, and drummer. I know my roles are restricted to the music area, but at least it doesn't always stay the same. As the variety of roles revive my interest, I slowly realize the underlying meaning of serving in this type of service. Of course, we serve as a response to the love of God. But for serving in the baptismal service especially, I find it is a way to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ, and the public proclamation of brothers' and sisters' faith in Christ. Following Christ is the greatest thing to do in life, shouldn't we be happy for those who choose to go this way?

Congratulations to those who got baptized last night! :-D

Christ is risen! He is risen indeed! Hallelujah!

耶穌奇妙的救恩 (生命聖詩 174首)

1. 耶穌奇妙的救恩，超過我眾過犯；
我口舌怎能述說，更將從何頌讚？
祂除我罪擔憂愁，使我得著自由；
耶穌奇妙的救恩使我得拯救。

2. 耶穌奇妙的救恩，臨到失喪之人，
藉救恩我罪得赦，並拯救我靈魂，
主為我解脫捆綁，使我得著釋放；
耶穌奇妙的救恩使我得拯救。

3. 耶穌奇妙的救恩，施與罪惡之人，
靠主的大能救助，使我順服歸神；
蒙主賜平安滿足，得享天堂永福，
耶穌奇妙的救恩，使我得拯救。

副歌：主耶穌奇妙無比的救恩，深過波濤滾滾大海洋；　　　
高過最高山嶺，美過最美泉源，奇妙救恩足夠我需用，　　　
闊過我一生所行的過犯，大過我一切罪污邪情，　　　
我要稱揚主聖名，我要讚美主聖名！

Favorite Number Collection

As the grand finale to my university life (finally!), I am going to talk about my favorite numbers.

For the longest time, my favorite numbers have been 4 and 7. I associate with number 4 tremendously in my life as a musician, so it just naturally becomes my favorite number. On the other hand, I tend to like things that other Chinese people don't like (or dislike what they like). The homonyms to the Chinese character of "four" means "death", which makes the number rather inauspicious. Chinese people hate inauspicious things, so they avoid using this number. I, however, am the devil's advocate LOL ...

My other favorite number 7, as I feel it is a number of satisfaction and perhaps celebration. God used 6 days to create the world (see Genesis), and in the seventh day He rested. He demands human beings to work only 6 days and observe the Sabbath on the seventh day. During Moses' time, God demands the Israelites to prune their vineyards and gather their crops for six years and take a sabbath of rest on the seventh year. When Jesus was cruxified on the Cross, He used His scarce energy to say the final seven sentences. After He said, "Father, into Your hands I commit my spirit," He breathed His last. Then in the third day, He resurrected, as a fulfillment of His salvation. There are many more examples in the Bible that uses number 7 as a finish; if you are interested you can find out from there. ;-)

Now I have another favorite number in my collection, and that is number 8. Before I would avoid this number because this is an auspicious number in the Chinese culture, for the homonym to this number in Chinese means "prosperity" or "wealth". I personally do not think prosperity nor wealth is the ultimatum to life, so I would avoid anything that promotes it. Nevertheless, I like this number very much now because of how God reveals His work on me with this number.

At the tender age of 16, I have thought of being the president of my fellowship. However, when this thought became reality, I was already 24. God used 8 years to ready me. I wondered why it took so long, but then I was thankful it did because I didn't know how to love people nor communicate with them before, yet God values relationship development more than operating a fellowship, which I was already perfectly capable of when I was still a teenager. Now, I am starting to train younger generation of leaders. All these brothers and sisters I am training, though they are younger, are my beloved friends.

I started my first university degree in music when I was 18. And today (this precise day), being 26 now, I finished my third music degree in UBC. So 8 years of hard work in post-secondary institution! Originally I only intended to do my BMus and MMus, but somehow God convicted me to do an extra two years of DMPS (Diploma in Music Performance). People would think 8 years of university without a break is insane. But you know what, these extra years not only made me a better musician, but also a much stronger person. If I insisted on jumping out to the society 2 years ago (for the sake of peer pressure or trying to pay back student loan), I probably would have failed my career poorly. Two years ago, my musical abilities were still only mediocre and I was totally a vulnerable person. I am not saying I am super-good now, but at least my skills are beginning to be recognized. So thank God - He is the master of my life; only He would know how long I should stay in one stage of my life and when to move on to the next without going through too much trouble.

The 9-1-1 incident happened on the second day of my university life. From that disaster I saw corruption, fear, hatred and uneasiness in humanity. The only thing that would resolve these crisis is Jesus Christ. So I promised God I would definitely go on short term mission someday, to bring the gospel to other countries in the world. Year after year, I gave myself many excuses not to go on STM. Finally, at the end of this month, I am going! Again, God took 8 years to ready me to fulfill my promise.

So, what can I say about this number 8? It is wonderful! Because of what the Lord has done in me!

手瓜

小時候，我們同學間經常會比較手瓜大小。那時人人總希望自己的比別人的大點。

今日，我「得償所願」，我有一對很大的手瓜。這對手瓜見證了我十六年來練習敲擊樂辛酸的奮鬥歲月。

明天晚上，我便要再次踏上舞台作個人演奏會。除了是畢業作之外，還是彰顯我對音樂的熱愛及神的恩典。

希望大家用禱告支持，無限感謝。

2 more weeks ...

So 2 more weeks until my big show ...

Quite pressured.

Yet, I trust the grace of my Lord is sufficient, as it always has, and always will be.

Add oil, Quennie, you can do it! :-D

My Recap on GM (Calgary) Concert

Here comes the end to my super speedy trip to Calgary. Very intense but enjoyable.

I must say serving God with music is such a wonderful and joyful thing. I don't feel the same when I perform classical music, when usually I feel more restricted. I can feel the liberation and relief when I sing and play in church or perform in Christian concerts. The only reason is God's salvation delivers me (and all of us who believe in him) from all transgressions, and the freedom from sins gives me extraordinary joy and peace. :-)

Anyhow, praise the Lord the concerts went really well. Little mistakes here and there, but hey, who cares. The most important thing is we bring people to the Lord through our music.

Thank you GM for giving me a chance to share my testimony. Also, thank you for letting me SING in this concert! I really love singing on stage, but I don't always get a chance to because of the huge demand on instrumentalists. This concert (sort of) "makes my dream come true" once again! :-) Hopefully my "crazy shouts" in "Jesus Loves Me" didn't scare the team off. ;-)

Birthday Gifts from God

Even though my birthday was a few days ago, I would like to share what God has given me for my birthday:

January 3, 2009 - the day before my birthday:
"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised." (Hebrews 10:35-36)

At that point I was thinking about withdrawing from an audition, for I felt I couldn't push myself any further. Quite often when I prepare for auditions I would have thoughts of giving up. But this time, I was so close I was evening thinking about how to tell my teacher about this unfortunate situation. Thank God I was never quick to decision, or I would not have experienced the wonder of His Words (His works too). That morning when I read that passage, I felt a sudden burst of positive energy in my being. I so knew God prepared this passage to encourage me to keep going. So, in a week, I will be recording this audition.

January 4, 2009 - the day of my birthday:
"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." (Hebrews 13:8)

A simple but promising bible verse. Regardless what circumstances we are going through, Jesus Christ remains unchanged. He would always love us and be with us. Isn't that the greatest gift you can ever receive for your birthday? Amen! <33333