Monday, October 31, 2011

今要主自己 Himself

I must say it's very hard to fully grasp the underlying meaning of this hymn. Probably I'll still not get it by the end of my life.

今要主自己 Himself
生命聖詩 Hymn of Life #393

1. 前所要是祝福,今所要是主;前所憑是感覺,今靠主言語;
前所要是恩賜,今要賜恩主;前我尋求醫治,今要主自己。

Once it was the blessing, now it is the Lord;
Once it was the feeling, now it is His Word;
Once His gift I wanted, now, the Giver own;
Once I sought for healing, now Himself alone.

2. 前用己力苦試,今完全信靠;前要一半救恩,今要全得救;
前常用手拉主,今主手牽我;前常漂流無定,今錨已拋妥。

Once was painful trying, now is perfect trust;
Once a half salvation, now the uttermost;
Once was ceaseless holding, now He holds me fast;
Once was constant drifting, now my anchor cast.

3. 前我忙於計劃,今專心祈求;前我非常掛慮,今有主眷佑;
前我隨己所欲,今聽主訓語;前我不住求問,今常讚美主。

Once was busy planning, now is trustful prayer;
Once was anxious caring, now He has the care;
Once was what I wanted, now what Jesus says;
Once was constant asking, now is ceaseless praise.

4. 前是自己作工,今靠主工作;前我欲利用主,今讓主用我;
前我尋求能力,今要全能主;前為自己勞碌,今為主而活。

Once it was my working, His it hence shall be;
Once I tried to use Him, now He uses me;
Once the pow'r I wanted, now the Mighty One;
Once for self I labored, now for Him alone.

5. 前我盼望屬主,今知主屬我;前我燈將熄滅,今照耀輝煌;
前我等待死亡,今候主再來;我一切的盼望,安妥主幔內。

Once I hoped in Jesus, now I know He's mine;
Once my lamps were dying, now they brightly shine;
Once for death I waited, now His coming hail;
And my hopes are anchored safe within the veil.
副歌:永遠高舉耶穌,讚美主不歇;一切在耶穌裡,惟祂是我一切。

Refrain: All in all forever, Jesus will I sing; Everything in Jesus, and Jesus everything.


Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Time to Let Go

I wrote this song while I was going through depression four years ago. As I was meditating last night, this song came to me again. I know, it's time to let go of my past.


Thank You for Saving Me 感激你救贖

One night I bowed down on my knees and cried
It's because my transgressions are far too deep
I always feel unworthy
Of God's love, His mercy and forgiveness
But Jesus says in His Words, "It's for you that I died,
Your sin has been paid in full by the blood I shed on the Cross."


一天我屈膝又暗淚垂
是我的悔疚深深百般罪尤
常在怨歎我不配
是基督祂恩惠跟祂愛憐
寧願捨身救罪人 讓苦杯傾倒主手中
為世擔當憂困 十架傾出救恩 盼望再點起


Thank You for saving me, O Lord
Now I'm free from all the wrongs
Only by Your love, I am able to leave my past behind
And move on to the future beyond
I'll give my life as a sacrifice
To You, Jesus Christ, may Your name be glorified


感激你救贖 我主

我今天已得釋放
深知因你的愛 我讓過去一切放低
張開雙眼看目前
我會將一生都獻奉
頌讚予基督 讓我高舉你聖名

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah. I worship You
(我敬拜你
)...

With all my heart, Amen.

Saturday, October 08, 2011

Dream Fulfilled?

Many years ago I wrote on a bookmark: 我心願在生活上事奉神,忠心為此事禱告。I don't recall why I wrote "生活上" as my wish, and I must confess I haven't earnestly prayed about it. Nevertheless, this bookmark has been in my bible since I wrote on it, and I would see it once in a while.

Tonight I asked one of my fellowship-mates to bring a pyrex container to the Thanksgiving potluck so I could bring her soup tomorrow. For she is very busy with her work and doesn't get time to cook. Plus she is pregnant. As I was preparing the soup, I suddenly remembered the things I wrote on this bookmark. I thought, perhaps this is what God wants me to do in regards to 在生活上事奉神 - 在生活上服侍弟兄姊妹.

Funny how God fulfills my dreams eh? Though I am not exclusively active in the fellowship, at least I am still doing something as a service, and I am happy about it.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

「驚」「喜」

新一個學年開始了。

已經在這間music studio工作了兩年。踏入第三年,新鮮感稍為欠奉,但驚喜依舊。

首先說說「喜」:感謝主今個學年so far學生人數十分穩定,因為去年夏天流失了很多學生,令我於秋季只擁有現時一半的人數。雖然throughout the school year人數gradually builds up,但我還是擔心了一段日子。However, 今個秋季我的學生人數卻是跟六月底時沒甚分別,這是令我喜出望外的。除了公司已開始上了軌道﹝這間studio是2009年9月開幕,我見工時店子還未renovate好﹞,retain了一班舊學生之外,另外亦有新學生加入。

第二,有幾位剛升上grade 7的打鼓學生都選擇了band為其中一個選修科,而且以percussion為他們的instrument。我十分欣慰─除了他們已經develop了some interest in drumming 外,亦expand了我教導他們的範疇。他們不再只focus on drum set,還要學其他percussion instruments and other techniques。

除此之外,亦感謝主看見一部份學生漸趨成熟。這一群學生裡,其中有幾個已經隨我學習有一年甚至兩年的時間。坦白說,當初some of them是令我十分「勞氣」─百厭又懶惰,令我摸不著頭腦,但我又不能大聲斥責他們﹝但亦不代表我不嚴格﹞,總之能夠get through到materials已經很好了。我心想,可能他們很快便quit lessons,那我便不用對著他們。但他們的parents也不願他們quit lessons,那我只好硬著頭皮去教導他們。可能經過時間相處,他們與我之間establish了一個好的rapport,而且他們亦開始定性了,我發覺他們今年很願意追求進步。我真的很高興,因為終於可以teach them some real stuff!

輪到「驚」:有學生進入成熟,但亦有其他學生有其他轉變。其中兩位剛剛進入kindergarten,他們的父母都希望他們能夠disciplined一些,所以會要求我嚴厲一些。其實我心中有數,知道對他們嚴厲一點是遲早的事,但可能以前曾經因為對人嚴厲而receive了很多negative comment﹝i.e.覺得我要求太高blah blah blah ...﹞,加上我老闆之前曾經叫我無論如何都要try to stay on the positive side,以免學生流失,令我有時心情忐忑。Anyhow,我真心想學生學好,而他們的父母又同意,所以有時都不可太過理會別人﹝even老闆﹞的評價了。

另一個「驚」便是,我今年多了一些advanced level的學生。鋼琴方面的advanced level都容易handle,因為都是跟著syllabus去教。但打鼓的advanced level便可困難了─縱然percussion一向有syllabus,但我的學生多數只focus on drum set,不能跟syllabus,而且每個學生preferred style都有不同。例如,我是come from more of a classical background,非常著重technical development, theory and individual practice,對於那些打慣rock music,通常learn by ears and jamming的人來說,他們會否接受我的教導方法呢?他們會否明白其實很多不同方式的learning style都可通行呢?我又怎樣可以向他們introduce my ideas without getting them bored呢?而且,我們studio是會教流行歌曲的,但有很多我是不懂的,是要我特意去聽的。今年挑戰還要大一點:有幾位學生要學heavy rock/heavy metal music,那我怎辦?我雖然都有selectively聽這類型的歌曲,但我真的很selective,因為真的不是我的preference,而且有些material是意識不良的﹝雖然時下很多歌曲都是意識不良﹞。求神給我智慧,用適當的方法教導他們。

This will be an interesting year.

Friday, September 09, 2011

Anecdote

Q = Quennie S = Student

S: Look Quennie, I have 4 wiggly teeth now. I don't like this!

Q: Oh poor sweetheart. But this is part of life!

S: I don't like life because it gives me too many wiggly teeth!

Q: *smile*

S: And you know what, I have such a busy schedule. After school, I come to piano lesson. And then I go for slurpee. And then I go home and have 3 hours of sleep, and then I have dinner and go sleep again. I don't have time for piano practice!

Q: (trying to hold her laughter) Why can't you take 15 minutes off your 3-hour sleep and practice the piano?

S: Because I am sleepy.

Q: But you sleep a lot already ...

S: Yeah, but ... (and she goes on and on)


To some extent, I wish I am a kid again. Wiggly teeth and sleep will be all I have to worry about. ;-)

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Encouragement to Hope & Grace‏

Encouragement to HOPE

You can hold on to HOPE-no matter what happens
because there's One who's holding on to YOU.
He'll stop at nothing and do anything
to make sure you have everything you need.
I'm waiting in hope with you to see all God will do.

He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all-
how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things? Romans 8:32


Encouragement to GRACE
You've got everlasting arms beneath you,
love all around you,
GRACE to see you through,
and enough strength to make it too.

You're supported in ways you can't see,
more than you know,
and the God whose heart beats with love for you
will never let you go.

The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. Deuteronomy 33:27

-Holley Gerth, DaySpring

Thursday, August 18, 2011

A Fly Hitching A Ride ...

En route to my herbalist's appointment this afternoon, I saw a fly on the left side of my car. I thought it would go away soon, but it stayed there kilometre after kilometre. Perhaps it was dead? No, its body would have fallen off my car already if it was.

I took a closer look to the fly for a second; I saw its legs hanging on tight. Yeah, with my car moving at 70 km/h, and with the gusty wind outside, this vulnerable being wouldn't be able to survive if it didn't stay strong.

Finally, as I stopped for red right on Shagganappi Trail at Edgemont Blvd, the fly took off. It had reached its destination.

I hope it has enjoyed taxi service from me!