The title is actually part of a bible verse: Isaiah 43:13. When I read Isaiah 43:1-13 last night at my devotion, that last verse truly hit me. I realized how much I have been trying to get things under MY control, which really means I am preventing God from doing His work. In the end, I have fallen many times because I fail to wait patiently for God's desire to be satisfied. Anyways, seriously, God is the One who can do great things, not me. So, I really pray for keeping my faith in God and patience in waiting.
The corresponding article from the Daily Bread also speaks to me a lot:
http://www.rbc.org/devotionals/our-daily-bread/2010/02/17/devotion.aspx
Help me to trust You, Lord.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
One Year Anniversary
December 26th, 2009 marks the one-year anniversary to my corneal abrasion. Exactly that day one year ago, I got a big scratch on my right eye's cornea. I had to back out from being a pianist at a friend's wedding, and a thousand of inconveniences in the aftermath.
The Lord uses a very unique way to "celebrate" this anniversary with me. On December 20, I woke up with a sore right eye. I thought it was just either tiredness from the previous night, so I did not worry about it. The next day, December 21, symptoms of abrasion started to come back (i.e. slightly blurry vision, a bit of pain, sensitive to light ... thank God they were only minor so my daily routines were not affected). I was very afraid that the abrasion will occur once again. I prayed to God, "Lord, it has been a year since the first abrasion happened. I am not sure whether I can handle yet another relapse because it has happened several times and I'm tired of it. Plus, this week is a crucial week for work (A&W). Are you telling me to back off?" As I said my prayer, the Lord told me everything would be all right. You know, with the symptoms appearing, it's hard to believe everything would be all right. But I still prayed for faith and grace from the Lord, and moved on to my tasks.
I managed everything fine that day. The next day, the symptoms were still there and I prayed the same things, and again I managed fine. The routine repeated the entire week. On Boxing Day, which was the day of anniversary, I was concerned that I would collapse suddenly at A&W, while the shop was crazily busy. I would not be so concerned if I was not a supervisor at the shop, who had to oversee the entire cashier session that day. Praise the Lord, I woke up good-spirited (though I only had 5.5 hours of sleep - I had to get up at 5am), and I felt I had extra strength to work. I worked (and that means, standing) 13 hours straight that day, and I still felt fine at the end of the day. Of course, consequently, I slept for 12 hours that night to recuperate.
The day after (December 27), I read 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 on the Bible, and it made me reflect on the purpose behind last week's adventure, as well as the multiple recurrence of this illness through the year:
To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
又恐怕我因所得的啟示甚大 ，就過於自高，所以有一根刺加在我肉體上，就是撒但的差役要攻擊 我，免得我過於自高 。為這事 ，我三次求過主 ，叫這刺離開我。他對我說 ： 我的恩典夠你用的，因為我的能力是在人的軟弱上顯得完全。所以 ，我更喜歡誇自己的軟弱，好叫基督的能力覆庇我。我為基督的緣故，就以軟弱 、凌辱、急難、逼迫、困苦為可喜樂的 ；因我甚麼時候軟弱， 甚麼時候就剛強了。
The Lord made me accept my appearance with glasses through the multiple relapses. Like most of the girls on earth, I would like to look pretty, and I thought I looked better in contact lenses. So, I always calculated the days I had to wait before I can wear contact lenses again while I was ill. God punished me for my disobedience. Through the relapses, He told me it was not the way it's supposed to be. Whatever ways God made it in, they are always good, so I should gladly accept them.
Last week's incidents were just another proof of God's abundant grace. If God did not sustain me, I don't know if I could manage the intense work at A&W that week. Also, I think God was trying to tell me, "See, Quennie, I have gone through this entire year with you, and you come out fine."
Though I am weak, God makes me strong. It's so true. Amen.
The Lord uses a very unique way to "celebrate" this anniversary with me. On December 20, I woke up with a sore right eye. I thought it was just either tiredness from the previous night, so I did not worry about it. The next day, December 21, symptoms of abrasion started to come back (i.e. slightly blurry vision, a bit of pain, sensitive to light ... thank God they were only minor so my daily routines were not affected). I was very afraid that the abrasion will occur once again. I prayed to God, "Lord, it has been a year since the first abrasion happened. I am not sure whether I can handle yet another relapse because it has happened several times and I'm tired of it. Plus, this week is a crucial week for work (A&W). Are you telling me to back off?" As I said my prayer, the Lord told me everything would be all right. You know, with the symptoms appearing, it's hard to believe everything would be all right. But I still prayed for faith and grace from the Lord, and moved on to my tasks.
I managed everything fine that day. The next day, the symptoms were still there and I prayed the same things, and again I managed fine. The routine repeated the entire week. On Boxing Day, which was the day of anniversary, I was concerned that I would collapse suddenly at A&W, while the shop was crazily busy. I would not be so concerned if I was not a supervisor at the shop, who had to oversee the entire cashier session that day. Praise the Lord, I woke up good-spirited (though I only had 5.5 hours of sleep - I had to get up at 5am), and I felt I had extra strength to work. I worked (and that means, standing) 13 hours straight that day, and I still felt fine at the end of the day. Of course, consequently, I slept for 12 hours that night to recuperate.
The day after (December 27), I read 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 on the Bible, and it made me reflect on the purpose behind last week's adventure, as well as the multiple recurrence of this illness through the year:
To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
又恐怕我因所得的啟示甚大 ，就過於自高，所以有一根刺加在我肉體上，就是撒但的差役要攻擊 我，免得我過於自高 。為這事 ，我三次求過主 ，叫這刺離開我。他對我說 ： 我的恩典夠你用的，因為我的能力是在人的軟弱上顯得完全。所以 ，我更喜歡誇自己的軟弱，好叫基督的能力覆庇我。我為基督的緣故，就以軟弱 、凌辱、急難、逼迫、困苦為可喜樂的 ；因我甚麼時候軟弱， 甚麼時候就剛強了。
The Lord made me accept my appearance with glasses through the multiple relapses. Like most of the girls on earth, I would like to look pretty, and I thought I looked better in contact lenses. So, I always calculated the days I had to wait before I can wear contact lenses again while I was ill. God punished me for my disobedience. Through the relapses, He told me it was not the way it's supposed to be. Whatever ways God made it in, they are always good, so I should gladly accept them.
Last week's incidents were just another proof of God's abundant grace. If God did not sustain me, I don't know if I could manage the intense work at A&W that week. Also, I think God was trying to tell me, "See, Quennie, I have gone through this entire year with you, and you come out fine."
Though I am weak, God makes me strong. It's so true. Amen.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Loving-kindness from Parents
A saying in the Chinese culture says, "You only realize how loving your parents are until you start taking care of your own kids." ﹝養兒方知父母恩﹞ Well, I am still child-less at this point, but I can tell you that, "I realize how loving my parents are as I start taking care of myself." ﹝養「己」方知父母恩﹞
My parents moved out to a new apartment just a month ago, leaving my brother and I (and our new roommate) alone in the house we are living in right now. That means we have to cook ourselves and do housekeeping ourselves. Also, we have to take care of bills and do groceries shopping. Not having done those tasks a lot, they were first quite overwhelming and tiring. In the old days, when I go home from school/work, I would just be resting, minding my own business and waiting for dinner. Nowadays, if I am off work in the afternoon, I would either have to get groceries, and/or have to start preparing for dinner as soon as I get home. Sometimes I'd prepare the food before I go to work so that I have something to eat when I get home. Of course, the three of us take turns to cook/make soup/do dishes, but at least one of those tasks would happen to me every day.
With all that, I get tired a little easier at night. That's good; it actually makes me sleep earlier. It also makes me realize how hard it has been for my parents to take care of the family when my brother and I were still young.
I didn't want to leave apart from my parents again so soon, but I knew God was trying to tell me that it's time for real independence. So even though it is a little hard to adapt this new lifestyle at the beginning, I still thank God for it. Each challenge God gives me is something to prepare for my future, and He will never let me experience something I cannot bear. Furthermore, I learn to appreciate my parents more.
As a small reminder to all of us: Honour Our Parents, whether or not we live with them at this moment. They have worked so hard to nurture us (even though they might not have the best temper on earth) and nothing can replace their loving-kindness. For those who are still living with their parents: I hope you enjoy the times while you still can. :-)
My parents moved out to a new apartment just a month ago, leaving my brother and I (and our new roommate) alone in the house we are living in right now. That means we have to cook ourselves and do housekeeping ourselves. Also, we have to take care of bills and do groceries shopping. Not having done those tasks a lot, they were first quite overwhelming and tiring. In the old days, when I go home from school/work, I would just be resting, minding my own business and waiting for dinner. Nowadays, if I am off work in the afternoon, I would either have to get groceries, and/or have to start preparing for dinner as soon as I get home. Sometimes I'd prepare the food before I go to work so that I have something to eat when I get home. Of course, the three of us take turns to cook/make soup/do dishes, but at least one of those tasks would happen to me every day.
With all that, I get tired a little easier at night. That's good; it actually makes me sleep earlier. It also makes me realize how hard it has been for my parents to take care of the family when my brother and I were still young.
I didn't want to leave apart from my parents again so soon, but I knew God was trying to tell me that it's time for real independence. So even though it is a little hard to adapt this new lifestyle at the beginning, I still thank God for it. Each challenge God gives me is something to prepare for my future, and He will never let me experience something I cannot bear. Furthermore, I learn to appreciate my parents more.
As a small reminder to all of us: Honour Our Parents, whether or not we live with them at this moment. They have worked so hard to nurture us (even though they might not have the best temper on earth) and nothing can replace their loving-kindness. For those who are still living with their parents: I hope you enjoy the times while you still can. :-)
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Humility Comes before Honour
Do not underestimate how a big lesson can be taught through a small mistake.
So today I worked at A&W. I was assigned to work early in the morning to open the save and supervise the day shift. Opening the save was supposed to be an easy task and I thought I should be able to handle this since I had done this once before, and I had copied down all the instructions. Therefore, with much confidence, I attempted to open the save.
The first time, I could not open. The second time, I could not open. The third time, fourth, fifth ... I started to get a bit frustrated. I wondered why the save wasn't behaving. I intended to keep trying until the save would open for me. But in the end, I still had to call my mom (who was also the store manager) for help because not only I could not get it open regardless how I tried, there was some troubleshoot to the debit machines.
Anyhow, mom dropped by to see what the problems were (she was supposed to have a day off today). After she fixed the debit machines, she asked me to perform how to open the save. I did what I thought it should be, and immediately she spotted one error I made - I overdid one of the steps. URGH! When the problem was finally realized, I slammed the door shut and started crying. At the moment I felt I was totally incompetent because I couldn't perform such a small task! Not only that, I have already made many errors since I started my supervisor training!
Later in the day I realized my grumpiness was silly. Well, it was hard to prevent given the rough situation, but I thought I should be humble and willing to accept making mistakes. I should not be too confident about (or to pressure myself to) doing everything 100%, especially when I am still new to this position.
Thank You, Lord, for such an invaluable lesson today.
敗壞之先，人心驕傲；尊榮以前，必有謙卑。 ﹝箴言 18:12﹞
Before his downfall a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honour. (Proverbs 18:12)
So today I worked at A&W. I was assigned to work early in the morning to open the save and supervise the day shift. Opening the save was supposed to be an easy task and I thought I should be able to handle this since I had done this once before, and I had copied down all the instructions. Therefore, with much confidence, I attempted to open the save.
The first time, I could not open. The second time, I could not open. The third time, fourth, fifth ... I started to get a bit frustrated. I wondered why the save wasn't behaving. I intended to keep trying until the save would open for me. But in the end, I still had to call my mom (who was also the store manager) for help because not only I could not get it open regardless how I tried, there was some troubleshoot to the debit machines.
Anyhow, mom dropped by to see what the problems were (she was supposed to have a day off today). After she fixed the debit machines, she asked me to perform how to open the save. I did what I thought it should be, and immediately she spotted one error I made - I overdid one of the steps. URGH! When the problem was finally realized, I slammed the door shut and started crying. At the moment I felt I was totally incompetent because I couldn't perform such a small task! Not only that, I have already made many errors since I started my supervisor training!
Later in the day I realized my grumpiness was silly. Well, it was hard to prevent given the rough situation, but I thought I should be humble and willing to accept making mistakes. I should not be too confident about (or to pressure myself to) doing everything 100%, especially when I am still new to this position.
Thank You, Lord, for such an invaluable lesson today.
敗壞之先，人心驕傲；尊榮以前，必有謙卑。 ﹝箴言 18:12﹞
Before his downfall a man's heart is proud, but humility comes before honour. (Proverbs 18:12)
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
幽谷之舞 Dance in the Valley
This song came to my mind as I had devotions last night. I thought I would share it for encouragement. Translations are provided for those who can't read Chinese (though not the best translations ...). :-)
幽谷之舞 Dance in the Valley
曲/詞 Words and Music by: Terence Leung
神你的光 光照我
使我一生不再徬徨
從你的恩典 我竟得釋放
我的心不再慌
效法施洗約翰一生宣告
主原是這光
叫靈魂 不再失喪
凡接待祂的 此際要奔往
從你從我的一生 可以見到
主的拖帶 沒有卻步
幽谷可以跳舞 患難裡總不跌倒
急風雖會臨到 我未會迷途
開心失意亦要祈禱
深知主領著我每步
幽谷可以跳舞 患難裡總不跌倒
天天緊靠耶穌 人生怎會枯躁
Lord, Your Light shines upon me
So I would not be lost
By Your grace I have freedom
I do not fear anymore
Like John the Baptist, we should proclaim that
God is the Light
To reach the lost souls
Anyone who receives Him will be free
We can see from our lives that
God's guidance never stops
We can dance in the valley, for we will not fall during adversities
Difficulties will come but we will not be lost
We should pray whether we are happy or unhappy
Because we know God will guide our footsteps
We can dance in the valley, for we will not fall during adversities
Follow Jesus closely, and our lives will be not be dry.
幽谷之舞 Dance in the Valley
曲/詞 Words and Music by: Terence Leung
神你的光 光照我
使我一生不再徬徨
從你的恩典 我竟得釋放
我的心不再慌
效法施洗約翰一生宣告
主原是這光
叫靈魂 不再失喪
凡接待祂的 此際要奔往
從你從我的一生 可以見到
主的拖帶 沒有卻步
幽谷可以跳舞 患難裡總不跌倒
急風雖會臨到 我未會迷途
開心失意亦要祈禱
深知主領著我每步
幽谷可以跳舞 患難裡總不跌倒
天天緊靠耶穌 人生怎會枯躁
Lord, Your Light shines upon me
So I would not be lost
By Your grace I have freedom
I do not fear anymore
Like John the Baptist, we should proclaim that
God is the Light
To reach the lost souls
Anyone who receives Him will be free
We can see from our lives that
God's guidance never stops
We can dance in the valley, for we will not fall during adversities
Difficulties will come but we will not be lost
We should pray whether we are happy or unhappy
Because we know God will guide our footsteps
We can dance in the valley, for we will not fall during adversities
Follow Jesus closely, and our lives will be not be dry.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
A New Life
After 2 days of driving (thanks dad!), with a night's stay at Salmon Arm, finally I am back in Calgary. I don't have the fervent excitement I had when I made my decision of moving back home, but I still look forward to what God has in store for me in my new chapter of life.
Nevertheless, I know things are not going to be easy. I have to get used to living with my family again; I have to reconnect with my friends in Calgary; I have to launch my career. And while I am doing all of the aforementioned, I still have to, and would like to, maintain all the relationships on the other side (Vancouver).
But hey, all my beloved ones, remember: "My (God's) grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." May the grace of the Lord be with you all always. :-)
Nevertheless, I know things are not going to be easy. I have to get used to living with my family again; I have to reconnect with my friends in Calgary; I have to launch my career. And while I am doing all of the aforementioned, I still have to, and would like to, maintain all the relationships on the other side (Vancouver).
But hey, all my beloved ones, remember: "My (God's) grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." May the grace of the Lord be with you all always. :-)
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
On the Road ...
To this day four years ago, I left Calgary for Vancouver to pursue higher education in music.
Now, I am on the road again back to Calgary.
Four years pass in a blink of the eye. I am still who I am. However, there are many things of me that have changed. I am entering my next stage of life with a new self.
Thank God for all the things I have been through in Vancouver. Learning experience, working opportunities, friendships, mentorships, discipleships ... They are all gifts from God and I would always treasure them.
Now, I am on the road again back to Calgary.
Four years pass in a blink of the eye. I am still who I am. However, there are many things of me that have changed. I am entering my next stage of life with a new self.
Thank God for all the things I have been through in Vancouver. Learning experience, working opportunities, friendships, mentorships, discipleships ... They are all gifts from God and I would always treasure them.
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