惟主使我心靈興奮

惟主使我心靈興奮
祂比生命更寶貴
我的主在千萬人中
乃最完美的一位

Truly Sincere Praise from My Heart

Thank You for Saving Me/感激你救贖
Composer/Lyricist: Quennie Wong
(c) October 31, 2007

One night I bow down on my knees and cried
一天我屈膝又暗淚垂
It's because my transgressions are far too deep
是我的悔疚深深百般罪尤
I always feel unworthy
常在怨歎我不配
Of God's love, His mercy and forgiveness
是基督祂恩惠跟祂愛憐
But Jesus says in His Words, "It's for you that I died,
寧願捨身救罪人 讓苦杯傾倒主手中
Your sin has been paid in full by the blood I shed on the Cross."
為世擔當憂困 十架傾出救恩 盼望再點起

Thank You for saving me, O Lord
感激你救贖 我主
Now I'm free from all the wrongs
我今天已得釋放
Only by Your love, I am able to leave my past behind
深知因你的愛 我讓過去一切放低
And move on to the future beyond
張開雙眼看目前
I'll give my life as sacrifice
我會將一生都獻奉
To You, Jesus Christ, may Your name be glorified
頌讚予基督 讓我高舉你聖名
Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah. I worship You (我敬拜你)...

With all my heart, Amen.

Job 1:21
說：「我赤身出於母胎，也必赤身歸回；賞賜的是耶和華，收取的也是耶和華。耶和華的名是應當稱頌的。」
And he said, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD."

2 Corinthians 12:9
他對我說：「我的恩典夠你用的，因為我的能力是在人的軟弱上顯得完全。」所以，我更喜歡誇自己的軟弱，好叫基督的能力覆庇我。
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

最知心的朋友
曲、詞：小敏
主你是我最知心的朋友，主你是我最親愛的伴侶，
我的心在天天追想著你，渴望見到你的面，
在我人生的每一個臺階，在我人生的每一個小站，
你的手總是在攙拉著我，把我帶在你身邊，
告訴我當走的路，沒有滑向死亡線，
你愛何等的長闊深高，我心發出驚歎，
有了主還要什麼，我心與主想連，
我已起誓要跟隨主，永不改變

Only God can understand me ... really. Sigh~

得勝之歌

First song I actually finished writing this year ... Sad because it's October already and I only have one song written so far! The juice in my brain is all used up for other things in the past ten months ... But Praise the Lord anyways, for this song was written when I was insomnious (for a good few days) a couple of weeks ago.

It's in Mandarin:

黑夜 孤忱難眠
白晝 惡夢纏繞
每天的生活總像木偶不知方向
周圍的壓力折磨著我不肯罷休

黑暗的權勢想要掌舵
死亡的幽谷想要拉著我
似是可怕 但我卻不怕
因為神是我心中的力量

勝過世界 勝過死亡
主耶穌釘死十架三天後復活
祂的恩圍繞我 祂的愛充滿我
太陽不能傷我 月亮也不害我

榮耀歸主 權柄也歸主
衪的救恩賜我有永生盼望
一天離開世界 回到天家
與主同在 唱得勝之歌 直到永永遠遠

The song was completed in half an hour. :-)

Count Your Blessings

Just went for a light breakfast with a sister this morning. We started off chatting about how busy our lives had been, and later we talked about how great God's blessings were even though there hadn't been much dramatic things happening.

I always enjoy chatting with this sister (and many others of course) because we would always count our blessings in our conversations, which repeatedly reminds me of how amazing God is. Often times we would suspect God has withdrawn Himself from our lives, but no, He hasn't and He will never. Just count your blessings and you'll know how much He has done for you, and how much He loves you.

A simple gathering with a friend makes my day. :-)

"You have multiplied, O LORD my God, your wondrous deeds and your thoughts toward us; none can compare with you! I will proclaim and tell of them, yet they are more than can be told." (Psalm 40:5)

In everything give thanks!

愛，我願意

愛，我願意
曲、詞： 洪啟元/游智婷

十字架上的光芒，溫柔又慈祥，
帶著主愛的力量，向著我照亮。
我的心不再隱藏，完全的擺上，
願主愛來澆灌我，在愛中得自由釋放。
我願意降服，我願意降服，
在你愛的懷抱中，我願意降服。
你是我的主，你是我的主，
永遠在你懷抱中，你是我，你是我的主。

Lord, with the faith You give me, I'll live. Amen.

Facebook, What A Great Invention.

Whoever invented facebook, I would like to give you my sincere respect.

I'm not trying to idolize facebook. I'm just amazed of how many old buddies I'm able to reconnect with, especially the ones from HK (which means, at my elementary school!). Some of them I haven't contacted for the whole 12 years I have been in Canada. Others, I've exchanged messages with them from time to time, but the frequency is low.

I'm amazed that some people end up in the same city as mine currently (Vancouver in this case), and we actually have mutual friends.

I'm even more amazed that many of us have come to Christ over the years. After all, our elementary school, despite its workload, made a difference in our lives.

Understanding

Throughout my stay in Calgary, people kept asking me about my future, given I'm already done my master's degree. I told them I was going to pursue yet another certificate called the Diploma in Music Performance at UBC, which will take me another two years.

If I had told 100 people about my conditions, I dare to say up to 98 people responded with more questions, "Why do you still need to study? Haven't you already got a master's degree? (... deleting many more subsequent questions)" I then had to use even more breath to explain my career ambitions and what-not. Every time I had to explain my situation, I felt more and more insensitive and annoyed to what I say. What don't people just be cool with I'm about to do and stop asking demanding questions?

Two people understood. One night I was having dinner with my fellowship counsellors (in Calgary of course), and as I told them about my dreams, they said they totally understood why I had to study more. They could even detect my mentality towards my plans. Wow, I was so amazed and thankful since I could finally find someone who think in the same page (even though they are not musicians) as I do.

I realize God is truly an understanding God. Even though I always know He is an understanding God, as it shows in His Words, I never trust it wholeheartedly because I haven't got an extraordinary experience. But He knows I am weak, so through my endless sharing with people about my future plans, He shows me His wonderful attribute in a very obvious way.

Thank You, Lord Jesus, once again. I love You.

Psalm 121

詩 篇 121
1 （ 上 行 之 詩 。 ） 我 要 向 山 舉 目 ； 我 的 幫 助 從 何 而 來 ？
2 我 的 幫 助 從 造 天 地 的 耶 和 華 而 來 。
3 他 必 不 叫 你 的 腳 搖 動 ； 保 護 你 的 必 不 打 盹 ！
4 保 護 以 色 列 的 ， 也 不 打 盹 也 不 睡 覺 。
5 保 護 你 的 是 耶 和 華 ； 耶 和 華 在 你 右 邊 蔭 庇 你 。
6 白 日 ， 太 陽 必 不 傷 你 ； 夜 間 ， 月 亮 必 不 害 你 。
7 耶 和 華 要 保 護 你 ， 免 受 一 切 的 災 害 ； 他 要 保 護 你 的 性 命 。
8 你 出 你 入 ， 耶 和 華 要 保 護 你 ， 從 今 時 直 到 永 遠 。

Psalm 121 (NASB)
The LORD the Keeper of Israel.
A Song of Ascents.
1I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; From where shall my help come?
2My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth.
3He will not allow your foot to slip; He who keeps you will not slumber.
4Behold, He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
5The LORD is your keeper; the LORD is your shade on your right hand.
6The sun will not smite you by day, nor the moon by night.
7The LORD will protect you from all evil; He will keep your soul.
8The LORD will guard your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forever.


這一段經文我背誦如流，而當我過每天的生活，我都可以經歷到它的實在。

我擁有車牌已差不多5年。這5年來，除了有一兩次差點出事外，我真的一次都沒有get involved in a car accident. 每次出trip，神都保守我出入平安。每次坐公車，神都保守我安全到達目的地。甚至我有時在學校練習夜歸，神都保守我腳步安穩。回想一下，其實安全並不是必然的，因為每天都有不同的意外或不幸的事件發生。家人朋友們都叮囑我一定要小心，甚至給我一點物品去傍身。當然，他們是出自好意，不過神大能的手臂比任何東西更可靠。所以，我實在很少害怕，因為神給我有出人意外的平安。

神除了保守我的腳步外，還保守我身體健康。So far 我最常見的病痛都不礙於傷風感冒，而我的腿於2003年所受的virus都在一星期內康復。我深信神是不想阻礙我事奉，不過作為神的孩子，一定天天將身體獻上，當作活祭，because that's what God commands. (Romans 12:1)

Dear Lord, thank you so much! I love You! :-D

Cultivating Real Fellowship

Rev. Rick Warren, in his book "The Purpose Driven Life", talks about the nine characteristics of biblical fellowship:

Authenticity - sharing our true feelings
Mutuality - encourage each other
Sympathy - support each other
Mercy - forgive each other
Honesty - speak the truth in love
Humility - admit our weakness
Courtesy - respect our differences
Confidentiality - not gossip
Frequency - make group a priority

Brothers and sisters, how well are we carrying these things out? Remember, fellowship is not merely social gathering. We, joint together as a spiritual family, should be experiencing life together, for each of us is a part of the body of Christ. A body cannot function if the parts are disconnected from each other. For connection, we would need share our lives with each other to a very deep level, and that's where the nine characteristics of biblical fellowship come. I pray that all the Christians who read this would make some reflection upon this.

Follow-up with Clothes Shopping

Finally I found something to match my skirt.

So this morning I arrived Calgary, and soon after I went to a mall to buy some necessities because I don't have shampoo, conditioner and stuff at home. Of course I used this "golden" opportunity (since I had to wait for my dad to pick me up) to do some clothes hunting. I went into Suzy Shier to look. I found a few pieces of clothes that looked okay (not too exposed ... haha) and quite matchable with my skirt I mentioned in my previous entry, so I went for fitting. The first one made me look like a pregnant woman; the upper part of the second one is too wide for me; the third one, though, fit all right. I thought of buying it immediately and never had to worry about it again, but I felt I should go to other stores to pick out a few more options before I make a decision.

Just before I stepped out of Suzy Shier though, my dad called and said he is approaching the mall and I should get ready to go. Because I really didn't want to worry about this clothes issue again, I immediately took the top that I thought of purchasing and bought it. It was at a reasonable price.

After I went home, I tried the top on again with my skirt, and it looked okay. The color matched decently (The top is black and my skirt is gold. Black basically matches with anything I suppose.), and the cutting matched too. Hai~ finally my concern is past.

Thank God - He knows I always worry about things too well in advance, so He alleviates my concerns well in advance too. Also thank God for preparing this piece of clothes in Calgary, or else I would have to pay extra tax! :-D

Clothes Shopping

買衫這回事，真是可遇不可求。

在去年boxing day時買了一件衫和一條裙﹝很便宜的﹞，很合襯的，原本想好在不同occasions，包括我將會參加的婚禮，穿著的。怎料我上身那件top在我四月份穿完後被我弄垮了！我當然frustrated，因為那件衫的確很美麗﹝有興趣請到 http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=4482&l=b6625&id=726355545 瀏覽﹞，而且我只穿了三次！Anyhow，我心想，只好再買一件去配襯那條裙好了。

近這三個月去了mall不下四、五次，而且很多大溫地區的大型mall都給我走遍了，但我總是找不到。不是夏季時裝太casual，就是布料或色系不合適﹝綠色配金色？I don't think so!﹞。我心想，不是那麼攪笑吧？近月全Vancouver都不流行我想找那種布料和色系？我快要回Calgary度暑假了，唯有在那裡碰一碰運氣吧！

其實我還有其他option的─我都有一兩件不同顏色的衫去襯那條裙，而且我可以穿另一條裙去婚禮。只不過，那一條裙so far我只穿過一次，不想太浪費。

或許神要幽我一默，叫我不要太將我的精神放在物質上，雖然我一向都算慳儉。其實，我們基督徒是不太需要worry about物質生活，因為神一定會供應，而且物質價值會過去，只有spiritual value是永遠長存。我們應該將心思放在甚麼身上呢？

「所以，不要憂慮說：吃什麼？喝什麼？穿什麼？這都是外邦人所求的，你們需用的這一切東西，你們的天父是知道的。你們要先求他的國和他的義，這些東西都要加給你們了。所以，不要為明天憂慮，因為明天自有明天的憂慮；一天的難處一天當就夠了。」﹝馬太福音6:31-34﹞

"Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (Matthew 6:31-34, ESV)

共勉之。

Mission Conference

Finally I have some time to sit down and blog. Life is simply too busy for us to talk about it.

Anyhow, I meant to talk about the worship session I led at Mission Conference last Friday. At first I took this job on behalf of Nissi Fellowship. With the small number of fellowshippers, of course we had to recruit "foreign aids". I intended to find people from different congregation for the goodness of unity among the church, and for the multiple languages the conference is conducted in. The recruitment was hard, but I did manage to find people who are related to the English congregation (I am from Cantonese).

Anyhow, the practice was fine in general even though we never practiced with absolute full attendance. People were quick at learning which made my job easier. The powerpoint panel was a little worrisome though because they were not used to my improvisational style of worship leading, and so I needed to tell them in the last minute where I could be changing the sequence and such. Anyhow, I was going to yell out the beginnings of each section anyways so they said they would listen.

So we were the opening. Not anyone would have expected - the powerpoint froze right when the first slide was shown. Of course I couldn't stop and say we had to wait for the powerpoint to be fixed since the worship had already started! So what I did was I yelled out the next sentence of the lyrics while the congregation was singing the one before. Not everyone could follow, and I had a hard time spitting out the lyrics quickly and accurately as well, but the ambience was still fine. After the third verse the powerpoint was back on again (and it was after two times of rebooting), so we were back to our "normal sequence". Although, I felt the congregation wasn't yet ready to move onto the second song, so I elaborated on the first song (Holy, Holy, Holy) a bit.

The second song, "Here I Am to Worship", went fine. Everyone sang their hearts out. I was so moved myself as well so I stayed on this song for a while. I must give A LOT OF credits to the instrumentalists for their tremendous sensitivity - I did not give a significant signal as to how the music should go as I looped the chorus of the song, but they actually followed the dynamics of my voice, which was gradually softening! Wow, I was thrilled when I heard that!

By the third song (Send Me Lord), however, the powerpoint did not work again. I panicked since we still had another song to go after this, and the congregation hardly knew this and the next song! It took me a while to figure out what to do since (1) I could not continue on under this situation; (2) I need to find some way to wrap up. I finally made up something to say, and cut off the last song entirely. Bravo to my interpreter since she wasn't expecting this sudden translation.

So people suspected there was a virus to the computer at the control panel. Just before we started the conference, one of the technical people pulled out his laptop for emergency purposes. But of course, he didn't set it up "properly" since he was not expecting cases like this one (ironically, it happened!). The church did have a second computer, but by the time they brought it out, I cut off the worship already, which left them confused too. If I knew there was a second computer, I probably would have asked them to set it up too, but I didn't so that was too bad.

I interpret this situation as an attack from Satan. He was jealous about our unity in worship, so he was trying to do something to destroy it. Of course, he didn't succeed. I could see people were worshipping wholeheartedly, and many people came up to me afterwards showing their appreciations. So the power of the Lord once again reigned supreme!

Many thanks to the worship team and the technical team. And of course, glory and honour be to God ... ALWAYS and FOREVER!!!

Feelings of Being A Master's Graduate

So I haven't really talked about my feelings upon being graduated from my master's degree. Here I am blabbing about it.

I must say these past two years have probably been the toughest of the 24 years I have lived thus far, but definitely the happiest for as long as I can remember.


Tough because this is the first time I move out from my home to pursue education. Before I do not have to worry about any expenses including necessities, groceries, phone bills, rents, tuitions, and other chores like laundry (occasionally I do have to worry about it), dishes or cooking since my parents would have taken care of all of the above for me. I am granted allowance; if I run short on money, I can ask them for it (usually I don't have to ask). All the money I earn goes into my pocket. Other than packing my own lunch I do not have to think about what to eat since every morning when I get up my dad would have breakfast prepared for me. Likewise, when I go home from school, my mom would have dinner ready as well. All I have to do is schoolwork, some private teaching and church ministries. My parents do encourage working part-time though, so I guess I am not completely spoiled for I have worked in various places.

However, when I live alone, things are completely different. School, work and church are not the only matters in my life anymore. I have to squeeze time to do my laundry, dishes and necessities shopping, even if that means I have to do it in the most obscure time of the day (i.e. doing laundry at midnight while everyone is zzz...). I have to watch my expenses. Even though I have scholarships and student loans and stuff, the money that I have is barely enough for all my expenses including rents, tuitions, books, percussion supplies, necessities and such. I dare not asking my parents for money since they work hard to support themselves financially and I do not wish to add onto their burden. I remember I often would stand between aisles in Safeway comparing which brands of ham is the cheapest yet still nutritious. I also find ways to prevent paying extra money for my cell phone. My friends and I would discuss where to find cheap yet sustainable clothes. Isn't that hilarious?

Transportation is also a big issue. I have my own car in Calgary. When my brother needs it, I still have my dad who would be more than willing to drive me around. But in Vancouver, I have to bus around almost all the time. I bus to church, and I bus to performance/rehearsal places (sometimes it takes more than an hour to get to those places, and I had to carry a backpack full of mallets and small instruments). Good thing some of my friends would give me a lift every once in a while so I can make better use of my time. But they are not always available ... I must say.

---
Tough, because music always requires hard-work. Hard-core practicing (on many instruments for percussionists too), hard-core rehearsals, hard-core researching ... there is an unending list. Good thing I am a performance major, so I only have to write limited number of papers. But I remember when I wrote my paper for the research technique class, I spent about 24 hours altogether flipping through more than 100 books to find at least 20 resources that would be suitable for my research. For a person who does not write a lot of papers, that was a pain.

Hard-core practicing - definitely. When I was preparing for the VSO timpani audition, I would go to the practice room at 7am or stay until 1am (of course, that does happen too often, and I had classes and other stuff in between) to practice my excerpts. When I prepared for my recital, I would practice for 8 hours a day because of the many number instruments we have to play. Meanwhile, I sacrificed a lot of my friend-bonding time and minimized my involvement at church. Since I was so devoted to my preparation, I almost neglected all other aspects of my living such laundry, dishes and cleaning up my room. For about two months, there was almost not a clear path in my room to walk on. Speaking of recital preparation, not only I have to practice to be able to play the pieces, I also have to do a lot of supplementary things to make the pieces playable. If you read the entry on my recital, I mentioned how I had to build a rack myself to hold the instruments and such.

Hard-core rehearsals ... music often requires collaborative work, percussion is no exception. Occasionally during the term I would have more than 10 rehearsals during the week, no matter it's for school courses or recital pieces. It wasn't the rehearsals themeselves that caused a problem, but time arrangements, space accommodation and schlepping! Drive me nuts when I had to deal with them!

---
Tough because I faced some big crisis through these two years. Family loss first of all. Praise God that grandpa accepted Christ before he passed away though. The other crisis was one of my friends betrayed my friendship to pursue a guy. I have not mentioned this case that publicly, but anyhow, everything is history and so I should not be shy about it.

---
I said at the beginning that these past years have been the happiest, and indeed they are. Through these years I have developed independence, rediscovered my lost self and better defined myself, found the true joy of playing great music, and known a bunch of wonderful friends. Better still, I enhanced tremendously my intimate relationship with God. These are all happy things, aren't they?

Because of my broken romantic relationship previously, I almost lost myself. I did not know what I was doing. All I have done, I have done it to impress my ex-boyfriend. Not that I received anything in return. After stepping out of this relationship by moving to another city, I actually start finding out who I truly am. And by living independently and being reflective (for I'm often alone), I know better of myself too.

I usually practice for fulfilling my duties. This master's degree truly makes me recognize the underlying motivation of practicing - which is to produce good music. When I can actually accomplish something, I actually feel joyful about it. Praise the Lord!

(I'm getting sleepy so I'm starting to rush through things here.)

And for my relationship with God ... hai~ my previous romance ruined my relationship with God somewhat. I served a lot in church (thank God I'm still allowed to serve despite my immorality), but when I stepped out of church I was not testifying Him. I actually had to deny Him in front of my ex-boyfriend. What a shame! Anyhow, I experienced more and more of God's grace as I redefined my relationship with Him. When I'm down, He raises me up. When I'm sad, He comforts me through His Words (read Psalm!). When I fall short on something, He provides. Isn't He amazing?

In a word, this journey of master's degree is amazing. I'm really happy to have completed yet another chapter in my life, and I'll for sure miss it. Thank God for everything. All the glory be to You!

Another Song Sharing

Lately I come across two songs which lyrics (part of them) quite strike me:

我給你機會去愛 你為甚麼跑開? (提醒 - 天韻/Remind - Heavenly Melody)
I give you a chance to love, why do you run away?

愛亦留存在空氣裡 你為何特意躲避
Love is hanging in the air, why are you running away from it?
你若然願意關心他 他也願意關心你
If you are willing to care for him, he would be willing to care for you too.
(他在關心你 - 關菊英/He cares about you - Susanna Kwan)

One is a Christian song and the other a canto-pop song ... What is God trying to say here? Hopefully the message is not just an illusion.

Will continue my marathon tomorrow ... I think.

Song Sharing

I haven't written on my blog for almost one full month! Well, family visiting and travelling prevent me from sitting at the computer to write something. I also haven't written anything in my private journal for a long time either.

Anyhow, I'd like to commence my blog marathon with some song sharing. If my Chinese friends have watched the just-finished TV series "Heart of Greed" (溏心風暴), hopefully you would find its theme song reflective and meaningful, since I think it is:

歌曲: 講不出聲
主唱: 關菊英
作曲: 鄧智偉 填詞: 張美賢

誰人無得到一切的渴求
誰人無攻於心計的理由
平凡人生 天真過後 要怎麼走
如何從委曲中再相信人
誰無狂想 不可告人
難忘時光 必須散席 留下我

# 快樂時 抱著時 那是至死不渝朋友
決裂時 你為何以為再拖一會 還有時候
即使多風光都要清醒
有幾多掌聲也是孤清
你只可聽到我大笑聲
哭泣 也未放聲
講不出聲 講不出聲
任由自己 半夜驚醒
我只不過偶爾受了驚於是 才遺忘本性 #

誰人能甘心一世一個人
如何才得資格可愛人
誠惶誠恐 只得我是 明白我

Repeat #

Often we pursue unsubstantial, temporal and worldly things (i.e. money, fame, expensive materials, irresponsible/playful relationships, or recognition from others; even drugs, alcohol and immoral sex) to secure ourselves or to turn ourselves away from reality. These things might fulfill our lustful desire, but it would only be momentary. As soon as the delightful sensation has pass, we would feel depressed and empty in our minds again. They are undependable.

What is dependable then? Who/what would truly satisfy our desires? The Lord who is "the Alpha and the Omega," and "who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty." (Revelations 1:8, ESV) How do we know He is dependable? Look at all the promises He made in the bible and how He had fulfilled them. Study the prophesies and examine how they have come true one by one. Faithful God is the only One who would not let anything end up in vain.

God is not only a God who fulfills promises and prophesies, He is also the One who loves us to the fullest extent. He always accepts us no matter how many times we turn against Him. He even sends His Only Son, Jesus Christ, to take on flesh and die on the Cross to redeem our lives. Three days after Cruxificion He resurrects to ensure our hope to eternal life. Even though we are negligible, God still recognizes us as the most precious beings on earth. Given all that, how can we not believe that He is the One who could depend upon? How can we not realize that He could give us the utmost security in our lives and satisfy all our desires? With God in our hearts, we don't have to chase around for all the perishable things! We certainly don't need them! (Well, not saying that we can live supernaturally. We need necessities to sustain our lives, but not to extremity.)

"The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. " (Psalm 18:2, ESV)

God has a sense of humor

It's true that you can never detect what God would do next to your life, and by that I would say God has a sense of humor since when He eventually uncovers His work to you, the finished product is always out of your expectations (even better than what you expect).

But the one promise that He gives, regardless of what He does, is:
"Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." (Hebrew 13:5b, NIV)

With this promise, what He does will always become good for you.

Preparing me to be a mom?

I wonder what God wants to do to me by having me teaching a bunch of kids piano over the summer.

Recently numerous people call me to ask whether I still accept students. Being a person who needs to make money to afford living, I accept any students without much hesitation at this point. Most of the phone calls are from parents who look for a teacher to teach their kids. Honestly speaking, I have not taught that many kids all at one time before (two of them are 5, one of them 6, one of them 8, and one of them 11), so I wonder what God wants to do with this situation. I do want to be a mom of two or three in the future; I guess teaching a bunch of them right now sort of gives me an idea of what taking care of kids will be like eventually. Although, things will be much more difficult than right now when I do have kids of my own.

Anyhow, thank God for giving me all these students to teach, so I can afford living. :-P Plus, I really like teaching students privately. I would like it to be part of my career. :-)

Joy

Very happy because I passed all the courses this year, even the one I failed last term - my professor curved the mark so I actually passed it. I am confidence to say that I can graduate for real! Praise the Lord Almighty!

Very happy because I started teaching a couple of new students today. When I received the money from them, I felt I am rich again. LOL Actually God's provision is always sufficient, if not more than I can imagine. Thank God for His amazing grace.

Very happy because I had a good rehearsal today. Thanks NJ!

Very happy because my room is getting more organized. I can find my things now.

Even happier because God's love is surrouding me, filling me, and overwhelming me! Only for God I can live! For God's grace all my sins are forgiven! Thank You Lord Jesus!

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, ESV)

Sunshine in Vancouver!

This weekend the sky is absolutely beautiful with the sun, after a few days of rain. Refreshing smell of clean air, colourful flowers on the ground, beautiful singing from the birds ... awww ... spledid creation from God! Praise Him!

"You Are My Sunshine
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away."

God is our sunshine. Only He will make us happy when we walk through dark ages. Hopefully we'll all love Him forever, for without Him, the Sunshine, we can accomplish nothing.

My wish to everyone!

Congrats ...

Congratulations to Sonni and Carol for their marriage, and Big Philip and Victoria for their engagement!!! Praise the Lord!

Many more weddings to come ...

Thesis Submitted!

Slammed my thesis (which is really just the recordings of my recitals) on the reception table at the Faculty of Graduate Studies office this afternoon. Now I just have to wait for the graduationg ceremony and I'll be done my master's degree officially!

That doesn't mean I'm completely done with work - I still have to play in AI's recital, plus filling out a bunch of forms for my future studies.

But anyhow, praise the Lord for what I have accomplished. Glory and honour be to Him. Amen!

Happy Birthday Daddy!!!

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday to you

Happy birthday toooooo DADDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!

Happy birthday toooooooooooooo YYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!

Pictures

A few pictures from my recital ... once I collect more I'll put them on webshots. But meanwhile:

Percussionists from UBC (almost all of them are here)

Dan, Vern, Mike, Nick, Quennie, Eric, Brian, Annabelle

Three sisters: Iris, Quennie, Annabelle

Happily smiling after the recital (though my tired eyes showed that I had been working quite hard)

Vern (my teacher) and me

P.S.

A few things to add to my previous entry:

This year the dress rehearsal to my recital was the longest and the most meticulous. 6 hours straight! And it happened the day before Easter! Well, given my recital happened the day after Easter Monday. I actually mapped out a precise plan to my rehearsal and ran the show from top to bottom as if it was the actual night. Thanks all my partners, for they were so accommodating with the schedule. Some stayed for the entire six hours to help; some bailed out of work early to get to the rehearsal as soon as they could. Hai~ no choice - I really wanted things to go well, and the dress rehearsal gave me an idea of what to expect.

Another thing: this year I received the most curtain calls from the audience. I don't know how many times I bowed at the end of the recital, but it was many, and I eventually played the encore that I prepared before hand. Thanks guys for your support, and once again, Praise the Almighty Father.

談感受

So, besides thanking a bunch of people for helping with my recital 之外，都要談一談真正的感受ga。今次呢個recital真係有史以來最長、最多功夫、最多partner、又最seriously treated的一個，I can't believe I pulled that off. Therefore, really, truly, sincerely, wholeheartedly thank God.

講開長，今次recital成個半鐘，真係少D耐力都唔得。初時我choose pieces我成日以為會唔夠長，但it ended up to be more than the required time。知道夠長之後，就開始驚唔夠耐力，尤其是Rite of Passage─全首歌15分鐘都係得兩個bars of rest，仲要係playing marimba against three percussionists，點頂呀？而且去年我打Ilijas時我真係死頂到最後，所以今年有D驚。But wow, God truly strengthens me this year，而且如果唔係神的恩典，盼且我都唔會突然間有咁多力。神的能力真係無可限量。

講功夫，今次真係用了不少。淨係Cold Pressed個set up都攪左我幾日─搵instruments，make adjustments，build up個rack for cowbells and crotales，cut and paste music，making combo sticks (I actually bussed around town to find the right material to wrap the butt of my sticks)，etc. 跟住D人成日要拆我set up so I often need to resemble it。練rhythm又練到我死下死下。其他pieces我就一日到黑要換mallet (for the sake of sound)，淨係testing out mallets都用左不少時間，跟住又借又買，練technique又練到D mallets爛晒，仲手指起繭、頸梗膊痛。仲有，要每首練得好，就要一日到黑咁練。近呢個月我真係一起身就練到夜晚十一二點，仲要食野食唔停，因為percussionist又要用腦又要用身。感謝主我捱得過。

今年有5個人同我合作─Colgrass有FH，Piano Phase有AI，Rite of Passage有NJ、MM同BN。Recruitment都唔係大問題，雖然一開頭都唔係個個應承，但schedule rehearsal就真係大劑。首先除左呢D rehearsals，我仲有其他ensemble and church rehearsals；有時攪到一個禮拜十幾個rehearsals，每個rehearsal幾個鐘。之後，所有人都忙到死，淨係每次compare schedules都take up起碼15分鐘。同ROP D男仔set up rehearsal仲攪笑，我係逐個禮拜叫佢地send schedule over，but it always turned out that there was only one time slot when everybody was available. Set up schedule難，搵地方練仲難，Colgrass同Piano Phase都flexible D，but ROP就麻煩，book房book到D receptionists熟晒我，又有時book唔到大房要逼入細D既房，用唔齊樂器又逼到暈。But they were quite accommodating, and everyone worked hard. 搬搬抬抬就不用多講。Thank God, even though things seemed quite difficult, I know they could have been a lot worse.

買了上年的教訓，再加上我真是想做好，所以我今次一早選好歌﹝有幾首summer已選了﹞，而且meticulous D去take care of stuff。之前mention過關於練習既野，it's part of my serious treatment of this recital。而且所有"things to do" (a big list too) regarding my recital我都write down in my daybook since I know I can be very forgetful. My daybook was a mess these two months, and each page was COMPLETELY filled with words . I guess my effort paid off - I do believe this is by far the best recital I've put together. My teacher really liked the program I picked, and he was happy with my progress. Praise the Lord.

I am not trying to boast (at least I hope I am not trying to). I just want to state that being a musician, particularly a percussionist, is not easy. But since God chooses me to become a percussionist, I shall be a good one. Plus, thank God for taking me through the process.

I love what I'm doing though.

Praise the Lord for absolutely EVERYTHING. May all the glory and honour be to Him. Hallelujah!

Yay! Done!

PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Recital is finally done! YAY!!!

Many people I need to thank:

- Those who came - thanks for the flowers and gifts too!
- CB - for a yummy receptions
- AI - Piano Phase and stage management; unforgettable friendship
- NJ - ROP; boundless support and kindness; all the time spent together
- BN - ROP; taping of my recital
- MM - ROP
- FH - Colgrass (a million performances/rehearsals for this)
- VG - all the teaching/instructions/advice; dedication; support

Of course I can't forget to thank my parents again for supporting me remotely and endlessly, and definitely my Heavenly Father for His amazing grace.

Final Sprint to the Finish Line!

Figured I should write something since I haven't written for a while. For the past two weeks or three, I have been doing nothing other than:

Get up, Eat, practice/rehearse, eat, practice/rehearse, eat, practice alone until midnight, eat, sleep.

Okay, sometimes I go to class. Sometimes I teach lessons. In the weekend I go to church. But otherwise, I have been pretty lifeless. I am so stressed. I am going insane! Oh well, only eight more days and it will be okay.

So, what is it in 8 days? Here is a little advertisement:
Graduate Recital
Quennie Wong, percussion
Tuesday, April 10, 2007, 8pm

Recital Hall
School of Music
University of British Columbia
6361 Memorial Road, Vancouver

Performing Works By:
Michael Burritt, Michael Colgrass, David Hollinden, Steve Reich, Jesse Monkman

With Special Guests:
Felisa Hernandez, viola
Annabelle Ip, Nicholas Jacques, Michael McDiarmid, Brian Nesselroad, percussion

Hope to see you there!

"I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:14, ESV)

This Will Give You Chills ...

Received this story from my friend:

No matter how religious you may or may not be, this can give you chills.
Phil. 4:13 states: "I can do all things through Christ which strengthen me."

Here's the story: A young man who had been raised as an atheist was training to be an Olympic diver. The only religious influence in his life came from his outspoken Christian friend. The young diver never really paid much attention to his friend's sermons, but he heard them often.

One night the diver went to the indoor pool at the college he attended. The lights were all off, but as the pool had big skylights and the moon was bright, there was plenty of light to practice by. The young man climbed up to the highest diving board and as he turned his back to the pool on the edge of the board and extended his arms out, he saw his shadow on the wall. The shadow of his body, was in the shape of a cross. The man felt a strange feeling, like someone was speaking to him. Instead of diving, he knelt down and finally asked God to come into his life.

As the young man stood, a maintenance man walked in and turned the lights on. The pool had been drained ! for repairs.

Thank you wholeheartedly, Lord Jesus, for your boundless mercy, and surely I will never forget You. Amen.

有一點感嘆

貝多芬音樂會終於完了。

當我在台上聽著管弦樂團演奏第九交響曲時﹝因為我的part要到第四個movement的後半部份才開始，所以我有很多時間坐著聆聽﹞，我不期然有一點感嘆，因為我沒有機會在這首交響曲裡打timpani啊！

事緣於個多月前，老師說要為這首歌的timpani part弄一個audition，因為這首歌的timpani part是應該所有有興趣於管弦樂團發展的敲擊樂手要懂的。我本人是十分喜歡這首交響曲的，我亦很想有機會在一場concert裡打B9的timpani part，所以我希望可以贏到這場audition。很記得當我預備時，首先我當然是十分努力，但與之同時我亦有點不安，因為我其中一個對手是我情如姊妹的好朋友，而她都是一個很有才華的女孩子。而且在預備時我聽了不少不好聽的說話，我被驚恐煎熬了幾個晚上。我心想，我們會否有conflict呢？我輸了給她怎麼辦﹝很多人都認為競爭只在我倆中間﹞？她輸了又怎樣？我只能祈禱，向神傾訴我的難處﹝縱然神已清楚我的feelings﹞，求神讓我輕看輸贏、順服祂的主權，以及祈求我跟那女孩的sisterly friendship能夠保持。

可能我的恐懼令我失了一點信心，而且我還有很多地方要改善，那場audition我真是輸了給她。正常的我是不多計較的，但那天我聽到結果時我整個人呆了，而且我要躲開調理情緒。之後我有一段時間跟那女孩子遠離了，但神是聽禱告的，有一次我倆終於忍不住要對大家說出心底的鬱結。感謝主，很快我們便冰釋前嫌，而且友情更勝從前。

神對我亦滿有憐憫的，雖然嬴不了頭獎，但都有「安慰獎」─上半場的樂曲只有timpani，老師讓我一手包辦，而在B9我可以打percussion parts裡最重要的triangle part。更surprising的是，音樂會前兩天的綵排，老師突然私底下跟我講了一些很鼓舞又情真的說話。Given all that, 除了感恩以外，我還可以甚麼呢？

此事的發生亦令我發現了我身邊有一位真是極度支持我的朋友﹝還支持我到底﹞，而且還很愛惜我。說起來還好笑，原本我跟他不close，但這個多月左右他忽然在我生命中pop up。如果我是嬴了這場audition而不是輸的話，我有否機會跟他這麼更深認識呢？希望神會祝福他，亦希望他會接受救恩。

整件事有點盪氣迴腸的感覺，或許神真是要我將萬事當作糞土吧。

Don't Stop Me

Have been thinking about this song that I wrote these few days ... I would share with you in this forum (with English translation). Hopefully I can sing it to my love one some time ... hehe

不要制止我
曲、詞：黃筠詠 © December 26, 2005

想去點燃 愛之火
Wanting to light up the fire of love
然而我的勇氣卻永是失落
But my courage always fails
屢次碰到挫折 怎可以一再提步
How can I start again after many setbacks?
唯有忘記愛情原是重要人生的內容
Then I can only forget love is an important element of life

* 想去衝線 振翅高飛
I want to thrive, spread my wings and fly
然而卻將真我 埋藏掩沒
But I am denying my true self
直至碰到你 方可再釋放自己
Only can I rediscover myself when I meet you
我感激你 愛念也亦泛起
I feel grateful to you, and thoughts of love arise

# Hmm … 我要嘗試將熱情天天加一點
I will try to increase my zeal to you day by day
為要得到你 要感動你心弦
Because I want you, and I wish to touch your heart

% 不要制止我去接近你
Don’t stop me, from getting close to you
不要制止我去抱著你
Don’t stop me, from holding you
讓愛掀起彷流水
Let love move like flowing water
輕輕的飄盪進入你心裡
Slowly and lightly into your heart
不要制止我去愛著你
Don’t stop me, from loving you
不要制止我去靠緊你
Don’t stop me, from leaning on you
就算一生匆匆走過
Even though life might be short
我願能共你編織愛之歌
I wish to create a love song with you
(我願能共你相愛)(I wish to be in love with you)

Repeat *, #, %

Ha … 讓我親近你的胸膛
Let me lean against your chest
讓我聆聽你那充滿動感的心跳聲
Let me hear your rhythmic heartbeat
和那令人陶醉的呼吸聲
And your infatuating breath
Ha … 讓醉心情感燙滾別要降溫
Let the passionate love heat up and not cool down
別想去逃避 來相信自己 情牽千世紀 Hoo …
Don’t run away, believe yourself; may the love carry over ages

Repeat %

Let me come to you and love you Hoo …

Grace Melodia on JJ959

Go to http://www.jj959.com and listen to their latest episode (episode 11). This is when they interview Grace Melodia! And I'm in there too ... kekekeke ...

Enjoy! :-)

Enlightment

終於感受到了‧‧‧完全放手交給神那種喜悅。

我一直對愛情十分執著；如果我愛上一個人，我就不惜一切去對那個人好，希望能夠取悅他。而且我會一直等待那人，直至得到或者真的完全沒有希望為止。我會以為我不斷的付出便是愛人的辦法，但我從來沒有想過愛情是要雙向的，是互通的，而不是一廂情願的。我會以為共渡很多患難便一定會見真情，但從沒想過有時一段關係是不需要那麼辛苦地維繫的。當我愛一個人時，我的感性就一定會蓋過我的理性，常常以為吸引我的那位男士就是適合，但又是否真的適合呢？當我發現我不能接受那人的某些特質時，我就事事包容及維護，從來沒有想過這是否健康的。

最近這幾年，我開始懂得交託。遇到一個心儀的男士，我會趕快的告訴神，希望神引領，亦會問神那位是否我的另一半。但是禱告之後，我的心都不是完全交託，甚至會祈求神會成就我所想的，或者懷疑神給我的領受是否真的。有時以為神的答案是這樣，就鎖住目標盲目去等，胡亂去做一點東西話是神指示我去做的。但究竟我所等待的是真的為神而等，或只是固執地希望神會成就我所想呢？我所作的又是否神所喜悅的呢？很多時我也不知道。

我的執著令我很難順服神。但我很愛神，所以我祈求神讓我學習順服。我愈祈求，神就愈將我的眼睛張開。最近的一些際遇下，讓我看到神行事不可測度。我們沒有可能完全知道祂的作為，但祂一定會帶領我們經過一切事。所以，我終於明白，我等候愛情，不是為了一個人而等，而是等候神將祂所喜悅的帶到我身邊。

現在，我終於可以很舒服地說「一切順其自然」了。無論最後我跟那位男士一起，我都會感謝主，因為祂賜給我的一定是最好的。

多年的包袱終於放低了，真是如釋重負。感謝主多年來的引導。

I'm Too Busy ... Again.

I don't know why I always take so much work upon my shoulders. I always underestimate the amount of busyness I get myself into when I take responsibilities. Taking on too much at one time always causes me unable to accomplish what I want to accomplish in the desired time. (Well, at least it's not because of procrastination.) I even want to spend more time with God but I can't because I'm too busy!!!

I definitely need to be less ambitious. I can only work so much. It's not worth it to get exhausted all the time. Lord, help me!

Soon to Be Master Wong!!

I went to take grad photos this morning. Suddenly I realized I'll soon be graduating, and I can add this title - Quennie Wong, BMus, MMus - to my resume! Hahahahahahahahahaha ...

Also, I'm quite proud of my make-up skills now ...

:-)

First Love

Lately I have been listening to Danny Chan's songs again. This is the Nth time I revisit his songs as his songs (especially love songs) are so great in quality, and his love songs speak my mind. I would really like to share this one:

初戀
曲：陳百強/詞：鄭國江

張眼看目前﹐沒有一些可比那天。
每日與他相見都歡笑﹐
太快樂﹐我願留住每一天。
春季雨綿綿﹐在那街邊﹐
讓雨水輕輕濺。
雨水絲絲打我心都甜﹐
好比愛神的小箭。
情緣任它自然﹐愛戀會源源不斷。
舊的夢才完又有新的夢來圓。
但初戀偏惹懷念。
此際念從前﹐渡過多少歡欣昨天。
惱恨愛戀偏偏多變﹐
這快樂背後藏著了淒酸。
相對在無言﹐若有交通﹐
定會傾訴沒完。
兩顆心倘不可以相連﹐
想見又如不見。
情緣任它自然﹐愛戀會源源不斷。
舊的夢才完又有新的夢來圓。
但初戀偏惹懷念。
情緣任它自然﹐愛戀會源源不斷。
舊的夢才完又有新的夢來圓。
但初戀偏惹懷念。

This song comes from the movie 喝采, starred by Danny, Leslie Cheung (張國榮) and Paul Chung (鍾保羅), Brenda Lo (盧業媚) and 翁靜晶. When this song is played in the movie, Danny and 翁靜晶 are dating. See the video from youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_HURwvY1Tw. Every time I watch it I feel really touched since this is simply too sweet, and I must say this is the kind of love I'm looking for. :-)

Well, God will give me the best love. So will He give everybody. :-)

These days I discover I'm quite a romantic person ... but I always hide it.

Equations

Humility = underestimation = self-abasement?

Complimenting oneself = proud/arrogant/egoistic?

給爺爺的一封信

親愛的爺爺：

您好嗎？在天家的生活如何？您離開世界已有一年的時間，我很掛念您，尤其今天是大年初一，真是「人逢佳節倍思親」。﹝說起來真的有點滑稽，事有湊巧，今天大年初一竟然是您逝世紀念日。還好不是年年一樣，否則都不知慶祝不慶祝。﹞

今年農曆新年我都是要一個人渡過，而且今晚還要演出。但是，我依然感謝主賜給我所有的。

不知道天家有甚麼慶祝活動呢？不過，您能夠跟主耶穌基督一起，根本時時刻刻都在慶祝著，不用分新年不新年了。我們在世上的喜慶都只是過眼雲煙罷了。

新年我沒有甚麼願望，只是想做好本分，榮神益人便夠了。我很懷念小時每年都到您家拜年，您和祖母一定會預備美味佳餚、甜品水果、糖果零食等候我們拜訪，而且還會給我們全家每人兩大封紅封包。當年的我看見紅色的一百元港幣，甚至啡色的五百元港幣時，我都會笑不攏嘴，因為我覺得自己很富有呀！

講到這裡，我想我最大的新年願望是全家族信主，那麼我們在世上剩下的日子也可以一起共享主恩，返回天家時又可以再次跟您一起吃很多很多次團年及開年飯。在那裡的佳餚一定好過世上的千千萬萬倍，而且我們的天父會與我們一同坐席。

願您一切安好。

您的孫女，
黃筠詠敬上
二零零七年二月十八日

Answer

Last night before I went to bed I pondered upon something. Originally I wasn't really seeking an answer, but today when I read my book, one of the passages suddenly spoke to me, and it was directly pinpointing what I contemplated about. I guess this was something I needed to and should know.

God understands our minds more than we can recognize, and sometimes even before we raise a question, He would have provided the greatest answer to it.

Thank you Lord Jesus for speaking to me once again! :-)

Another Year with NO Valentine ...

... but that's okay, I went out two girls this morning for dim sum and that was fun.

I dressed up for this day and it felt good.

God's love is filled in me so I don't feel alone.

Hehehe ... so another year of being single isn't all so bad. :-) Thank you Lord Jesus!


(P.S. Thank you "sweetheart"!!)

Shepherd's Pie

Thank you Lord for inventing shepherd's pies. It's sooooooooo good. :-)

擁抱

有時我都頗渴望有異性擁抱我，雖然通常來來去去都是那幾個。

可能被異性擁抱給予到我一種受保護的感覺；其實我是很軟弱的，不過我經常要做堅強那個。

可能亦是因為我恨有男朋友，可以疼我惜我；可惜現在沒有，所以就有這種渴求。

不過，我是絕對不會因為這樣而胡亂找一位男士做我男朋友的。滿足不到我之餘，非常之不榮耀神。我的行事為人一定要與基督的福音相稱。

所以，繼續等候吧！神一定有最好的安排。

(P.S. 不過，朋友們，千萬不要一窩蜂地介紹男士給我，這個我最受不了。)

La Boheme

Today's final show of Puccini's opera La Boheme brings my longest week of the term to a close. Well, I describe it as the longest week because I was committed to the school's opera production for 6 nights, while in the 7th night I was teaching. Sounds exciting, uh? Anyways, La Boheme is a beautiful opera (even though it has a tragic ending), so I suggest people to rent the video if there is any available.

After this long week I need to get back to intense practicing for my graduate recital and figuring out my prestigious future plans. Really it seems like a gloomy adventure to me. Hai~ Lord, help me!!!

A Song to Share with You

There is a song that constantly comes to my mind these few weeks, so I would like to share here. Probably this is the cry from my heart, and God is reminding me about it.

To Gain You Christ/惟要主基督
The 40th Canada Chinese Christian Youth Winter Conference Theme Song
Music by Grace Kuo Yu
Lyrics by Grace Kuo Yu (English)/Alan Yu, Esther Chow (Chinese)
(c) 2000 The 40th CCCYWC

Life has a way of blinding me from Your light
Lord I desire more of You in my life
Turn my interest from self to You Christ
So that in everything I do You'll be glorified

I consider everything, everything a loss
Compared with the priceless gain of knowing You my Lord
Help me give up everything and carry my cross
Because I want to follow You, my Lord
Help me to live by faith in Christ
May I be righteous in Your sight
For Your sake I will give my life to gain Your Christ

To gain You Christ, the goal of my life (x4)

身邊反覆輾轉細碎無數事
但我心只渴望來到你面前
只想將所牽所掛全放下
讓我倒空去盛載主 惟你最重要

我要看世界萬事也全當作虧損
為著要得到世上那最稀罕寶貴
教我放棄世上事 我惟要主基督
願我一生背十架 獻作活祭
求讓我終一生相信 求讓我終一生不變
求讓我將一生擺上 全身心相獻

惟主基督是我最至寶 寧得基督全人也奉獻 (x2)


Brothers and Sisters, hopefully we will all be like Apostle Paul, who sees everything on earth as rubbish and knowing Christ as a surpassing worth. For everything on earth is temporary, but Christ is eternal.

Explosive Feelings

今次我想我要用中文才能explicitly express到我內心就要爆發出來的feelings.

我亦希望我只需要講一次。

很多人都知道我是在頌恩旋律﹝下GM﹞裡事奉。GM是一個under王者文化的基督教音樂事工，原於溫哥華。因為經常要穿梭全球去事奉，久而久之便成立了很多GM分隊，而我就是於GM Calgary出身的。由GM Calgary到GM Vancouver，都有差不多三年的時間。在Calgary時，大家都事奉得很開心，因為都是一班相識多年的主內弟兄姊妹，彼此之間的音樂默契很強，而且大家都勇於嘗試﹝well，跟事工剛剛開始這個因素都有關係﹞。來到Vancouver，本來抱住很多期待─期待可以終於跟我很欣賞的GM Vancouver合作；期待可以跟他們交流一下音樂，從而擦出新的火花。

初到貴境，我都有參與不少：做了兩次歌劇─一次在Calgary；一次在Seattle，亦在Seattle做了一場concert。但之後，可能因為時間不合，我又不可能get involved in全部事工，再加上自己又住得遠，我足足有一年沒有在GM事奉。有一段時間，我對GM事工感到很無奈，甚至有點想退出，因為第一整隊team都頗work-oriented，一埋位就是練歌，spiritually沒有太多交通 (which is something I truly emphasize when I work in a praise team). 第二，很多時收到call話要get involved in some ministries，但都是聞樓梯響，最後都參與不到。第三，曾經有位在Calgary的姊妹覆述他們的一番話，which is 他們都不知可以放我在那裡，因為他們已有一班core member做慣了。﹝我都認同，因為他們的製作很多都差不多﹞但那位姊妹鼓勵我留低做他們叫我做的事。

到幾個月之前，GM要出CD5。我本來submit了一首自己的作品去參與，但他們沒有選上那就算吧。之後，他們本來call我去錄音，但講下講下最後連整張碟都print了我都懵然不知。到十一月我去幫手rehearse for the launching concert時，我見到原來他們都吸納了很多new members！Well, then, what's it when they were talking about they already had a core group that they didn't know where to put me? 接著，他們又要我不要這樣打鼓、不要那樣打鼓，要全部跟著CD(but then I didn't have a CD to listen to!)‧‧‧我知道每首歌都kind of有一個fixed arrangement，但我都不是太過自由發揮吧！And then I finally found out which songs they picked, and I discovered my song isn't all that different and bad in quality in comparison! And I do believe I have a good testimony behind it too! Anyways, I only hid my anger in my mind.

今天，我再次到GM練歌for the radio interview on Thursday，那就終於都取得到the newest song book and CD. 一聽完隻CD後我又一次發怒。Well, 今次CD水準in general比前四隻都有進步，但很多arrangement都很平淡(well, some of them are really good dealt though)，又沒有起伏又沒有新意，very typical GM. 分分鐘我都可以做得好些，雖然我不太懂錄音。既是這樣，為何不找我幫忙呢(even though I live far away)？選歌就不想再多講。唱歌就更加不用提，因為一到Vancouver我已無形地被categorize為一個instrumentalist instead of a musician who can both sing and play instruments. I truly feel like my talents are neglected and not appreciated. Am I really that odd musically? Does distance really affect my involvement?

From this experience I see a couple of things.
(1) To the negative side ... Who cares I have a MMus degree? When we are serving God, we are all equal and therefore I need to humble myself.
(2) To the positive side ... Even though people might not agree with my talents, God already has, otherwise He wouldn't put me into many ministries.

God always has something for me to learn when He puts me through something.

Don't think I hate GM. Really I don't. Serving in GM is something I've dreamed for a long time. I really appreciate all the talents they have in the team, ever since I sang the first song from them. Because God puts me in this ministry, I will serve faithfully regardless.

Sorry for my anger and pride ...

發洩完畢，希望GM不會「炒我魷魚」吧 ...

And My God Will Supply Every Need of Yours ...

"I have received full payment, and more. I am well supplied, having received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent, a fragrant offering, a sacrifice acceptable and pleasing to God. And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:18-19, ESV)

This is what Apostle Paul said to the people in Philippi. I can certainly change the context and apply the same scriptures to myself.

Two nights ago I was calculating how many months of rent I can still afford with the remaining amount of money in my bank account. The answer is - right up till June and I still have surplus (like a few hundred bucks)! Praise the Lord! But soon after many other worries came up - what about necessities? Will I have enough for that, even now I already have three students to teach? What about my investment in musical instruments, mallets and drum sticks, and sheet music? And if I could get an extension to live in my dormitory for another year, would I have enough money to maintain my room during the time I'm away, or do I have to move out for those two months and move back to another room in September? Finally I decided to sleep well and forget about them (temporarily).

The next morning (yesterday) I got a phone call from my church music director saying she would like to begin the drum set class (that she suggested to open) as soon as possible for there was a person asking about it. And she talked to me about my honourarium to those classes. In the afternoon, I found out from my dormitory's executive chef that the person whom he proposed to take over my weekend shift refused to take the post. (I deliver breakfast baskets to guest rooms in weekend mornings. And for health maintenance reason - not that I have illness; I just want to sleep better - I told the chef this week is my last week.) I immediately offered to continue helping until he recruited someone, for I really didn't want to just leave the job behind and then there would no one serving the guests in the weekend. Just after I sent the e-mail about my offer to the chef, I suddenly thought, would it be another opportunity, along with the drum set class, for me to earn more money to support my living? As soon as this thought hit me, I felt ecstatic because God eliminated my worries by giving me these chances! I felt He was saying to me, "Yeah so you were worrying about not having enough money to support your living, so here you go - MONEY! (well, of course the money wouldn't just shower upon me; I have to work to get it)"

Isn't God just amazing? He knows and understands all of our needs and He would supply every single one of them to their fullest extent. And indeed, He would always answer our prayers as long as we have hearts to seek Him. Lord, Your love and grace are amazing, and there would be no reason for me to alienate from You.

衷心感謝你 真誠真意地
在世上唯有你這樣為我不捨不棄
一心稱謝你 我要高舉你聖名
唯獨你是完美 完全配得讚美
- 感謝讚美, 1999

To Love A Person Is Not Easy ... cont'd

So, I actually wrote a song entitled "To Love A Person Is Not Easy", so I thought I would share this with you. From this song you'd know I actually suffered quite a bit with love before.

愛一個人原來不易
曲、詞：黃筠詠 © 2003

很想跟你說話 傾心傾意對話
將所有掛念你的語句盡情傾出
很想跟你浪漫 不管星宿變幻
給予你我最美麗而純真的愛

但拿著聽筒 只得到失意
但留在家中只有別人的結他
而我卻不想跟我共敘的是它
只想再次躺於你的臂彎 你知嗎

(Chorus)
愛一個人原來不易
有陣時仍不知道共你的感情是真與假
愛一個人從來不易
別去吧 讓我可跟你再一次情深對話 (知不知我極度孤單)
(別算吧 可知我 想跟你到未來情也未變掛)

不可跟你說話 不可跟你浪漫
將所有掛念你的語句長留心中孤單擁抱寂寞 只可傷心禱告
真心盼你會快樂而又想起我

但常在心中得絲絲嗟怨
但常在窗外只有淚盈的雪花
而我卻不想一個獨自傾淚灑
不知世界扭轉天昏地暗

To Love A Person Is Not Easy

Lately many of my friends (from Calgary or Vancouver) have been consistently venting to me about their personal problems (and they would all approach me late at night too): school, work, or love relationships. Mostly love relationships.

How come love can be so bothering to people (including myself)? How come it is so hard to find satisfaction in a relationship? And especially for Christians (maybe for non-Christians as well, depending on your value system), how come it is so hard to find a perfect other-half, someone who we could spend the rest of our lives with? How come some people can get it (as in a partner) so easily?

I ponder upon these questions a lot, and so far my conclusion is still the same - true love waits. It is like planting a tree. We have to first plant the seeds, water and fertilise it regularly and let it grow in its own speed. We can't force it grow faster. Likewise, a relationship takes time to develop. I don't know how other people think, but I prefer to have a close friendship with my target first before I proceed. I also believe a relationship must be mutual. And all of these would only happen when we take time.

Above all, I believe God would give me the perfect one - the one who will complete my life. God loves us infinitely. He even called Jesus Christ to take on flesh and die for us for our transgressions. With this unconditional love, for He has given us life, how can we not believe that He would always give us the best at the best time?

Be positive with life! Since in God there is always hope!

Strengthen Me, O Lord

Woah it is only the second week of school and I'm exhausted already! How am I gonna survive the rest of the term while school will only get more intense instead of less? Lord, be with me in this trial. I really want to do well in this term (like many others) for Your glory, since You have carried me this far in my music career. It is You who give me the intelligence, wisdom, and talent to play enjoyable music. In fact, You, the Creator of Universe, create music Yourself!

"This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the LORD of hosts." (Zechariah 4:6, ESV)

Hold on Quennie!

I am still struggling in determining what to do after my MMus degree. Reality seems too harsh for me to handle. I don't think I'm ready. Do You think I'm ready, Lord? Should I slowly emerge or just dive into it? Hai~

Sincere Thanks!

Thanks for the great Japanese dinner tonight, Belle, Ham and Ris! You guys are truly my wonderful comrades-in-arms! And we are brothers and sisters in Christ too!

Must bring my parents to that restaurant when they come in May ...

I hate e-mails sometimes ... they keep coming in an unceasing manner. Every time they come, you can't resist reading and replying them. Then you end up writing e-mails for hours! Also, because of their efficiency, it gives you an assumption that you can achieve more tasks in a shorter period of time, but it actually makes you busier! Does this concept sound logical to anyone?

I hate my life as a percussionist sometimes too. Too many instruments to deal with. So much craps we need to bear from other people (i.e. space accommodation). So much time needed to get things done (i.e. set up). But I love playing percussion (and love playing music in general), and I know this is a life that God designs for me, so I will simply ask God to strengthen me ... At least I would need a great amount of perserverance to finish this ONE LAST TERM for my master's degree!

By the way, my photo album is updated. Simply click on to "Quennie's photos 5" at the right side of my blog and you will see them! Enjoy and God bless! :-)

New Year Resolution

Wow! I haven't even said "Happy New Year" in this blog! That showed how busy with various activities I have been lately.

Well, actually, I have just been having too much fun partying and enjoying other entertainment than sitting at the computer writing. Mind you I have a TV at home in Calgary so I would much rather watch some TV.

I had a marathon of birthday celebrations last week (plus other gatherings with friends, but all surrounded by eating). Thank God I'm a good friend. I hope my friendships with my friends will lead them all (closer) to Christ, whether they have already accepted Christ or not. Anyways, my sincere thanks to everyone who invited me for meals, who attended my birthday celebrations, and who bought me gifts and cards. More importantly, thanks for all your love and friendships - they will never be forgotten!

So New Year Resolution. First, I decided I would sleep early this year. At least earlier than 2am. Hopefully before 1am too. My dark circles are getting way too severe and that makes me look tired all the time, despite how "un-tired" I am. Second, I would not let love issues become my burden anymore. God has His plans and I should just be submissive and try not to take over the control panel. I shall focus on my schoolwork. Third, I shall keep all my promises that I've made to God at the end of 2006. You know what they are, my Lord.

I know this term will be another hard one since I already have many things to settle right on the first day. But anyways, I know God will help me to graduate, and so I will!