I'd Rather Have Jesus 我寧願有耶穌

The day after I found out I failed the NYO audition, I read John 21 on the bible. A lot of people would recall the miraculous catch of fish and Jesus questioning Peter three times if he loved Him, but what caught my attention was the following:

Joh 21:20 彼得轉過來，看見耶穌所愛的那門徒跟著，（就是在晚飯的時候，靠著耶穌胸膛說：「主啊，賣你的是誰？」的那門徒。)
Joh 21:21 彼得看見他，就問耶穌說：「主啊，這人將來如何？」
Joh 21:22 耶穌對他說：「我若要他等到我來的時候，與你何干？你跟從我吧！」
Joh 21:23 於是這話傳在弟兄中間，說那門徒不死。其實，耶穌不是說他不死，乃是說：「我若要他等到我來的時候，與你何干？」


Personally I prefer the English version:
Joh 21:20 Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them, the one who had been reclining at table close to him and had said, "Lord, who is it that is going to betray you?" Joh 21:21 When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, "Lord, what about this man?"
Joh 21:22 Jesus said to him, "If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!"
Joh 21:23 So the saying spread abroad among the brothers that this disciple was not to die; yet Jesus did not say to him that he was not to die, but, "If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you?"

When I read this, I felt as if this passage was speaking to me in particular. Indeed, I was quite pissed off when I saw the audition results. I was even more pissed off when I found out one of my former yet younger classmates won. I've worked hard, and everybody was quite certain that I'd get in, but I DID NOT. Momentarily I thought, "Why God always has to make everything so hard for me to accomplish? How come it's always so easy for someone else to win an audition, but for me, regardless how big or small the audition is, I don't win anything! My music journey is simply too hard!" But then after all these thoughts I quickly reminded myself that God has the absolute control over my life. No matter how hard I work for a competition or how I think I would win a competition, I won't win if God says no. I have even fewer chances to win if I'm obsessed with winning/losing and lose sight of God.

Feeling helpless over the night, the next morning I read this bible passage. If I fit my situation into this, it would be like, "If it is my will that s/he would win an audition (or even has less stumbles in his/her music journey), what is that to you? You must follow me!" Yes, it's more important (and better) to follow Jesus Christ tightly and to receive His blessings than to attempt to gain any perishable recognition in the world, for His blessings surpass any treasure in the world and they cannot be taken away from me. Any one would encounter successes and failures in his/her life. Without experience both scenarios then life is unrealistic. Only with ups and downs I will grow. I need to learn to see a bigger picture, and not to easily give in to failures. I need to pick myself up from there. Yes, with the grace and strength from God, for He gives us hope.

Actually, I was worried that if I go away I would not be able to assist my students who want to take exams over the summer. Also, a couple of people were waiting for my replies regarding helping out in a couple of concerts (one is a paid position) in July. Now I don't have to worry.

Closing up I would like to share a classic hymn, which the name is the title of this entry.

我寧願有耶穌 I'd Rather Have Jesus (生命聖詩 Hymn of Life #361)
Music by: George B. Shea
Lyrics by: Rhea F. Miller (E), 劉福群/何統雄 (C), 滕近輝 (editor)

1. 我寧願有耶穌，勝得金錢，我寧屬耶穌，勝得財富無邊；
我寧願有耶穌，勝得華宇，願主釘痕手，引導我前途。
I'd rather have Jesus than silver or gold; I'd rather be His than have riches untold;
I'd rather have Jesus than houses or lands; I'd rather be led by His nail-pierced hand

2. 我寧願有耶穌，勝得稱頌，我寧忠於主，成全祂的事工；
我寧願有耶穌，勝得名聲，願向主聖名永赤膽忠誠。
I'd rather have Jesus than men's applause; I'd rather be faithful to His dear cause;
I'd rather have Jesus than worldwide fame; I'd rather be true to His holy name

3. 恩主比百合花更加美艷，遠比蜂房蜜更加可口甘甜；
惟主能滿足我飢渴心靈，我寧願有主，跟隨祂引領。
He's fairer than lilies of rarest bloom; He's sweeter than honey from out the comb;
He's all that my hungering spirit needs; I'd rather have Jesus and let Him lead

副歌：勝過做君王，雖統治萬方，卻仍受罪惡捆綁；　　　
我寧願有耶穌，勝得世界榮華，富貴，聲望。
Chorus: Than to be the king of vast domain or be held in sin's dead sway.
I'd rather have Jesus than anything this world afords today.

Amen.