Friday, August 09, 2013

重逢一天

看著你的名字  猶如望見你的臉
翻開你的信件  猶如聽見你聲線
愛意跟思念交纏  圍繞在我心田
親愛的  願能到你面前  依偎在你身邊

鬥志再多頑強  總想柔情一面
內心愛念是甜  難免也有苦澀
縱是這樣  我不會見異思遷
相信能會有重逢這一天

Sunday, June 09, 2013

未題

內心深情比酒濃
令面珠泛起嫣紅
眼眸裡醉意流動
卻靦腆不敢言中

Saturday, March 09, 2013

聽說

聽說過你愛我        讓我心跳
聽說過你愛我        讓我倒顛
聽說過你愛我        讓我知了        不要刻意收歛

聽說我也愛你        就快瘋了
聽說我也愛你        在這揭曉
聽說我也愛你        願你聽到        都會想要歡笑

浮塵在世轉眼無有        但情是永久

很需要    情深        方可過渡餘生
畢生要用情義容納與欣賞    常為彼此拍掌
明天        不知怎變和演
始終相信就算障礙        一生都相愛

連心        牽手過渡餘生
即使到白頭仍傳贈愛詩篇    重溫一生每天
明天        不管怎變和演
一起走到直至最後        共你約定天國擁抱

聽說過你與我        相對相愛        一世不會改變

Words and Music by Quennie Wong (2012)
* For the one who is always thankful, and has faith in Christ.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

歌詞

見證內容是差不多到上飛機去Regina的時候才預備好,但配套詩歌卻一直在我心裡面。

等候袮
曲、詞:周敏曦 Esther Chow ﹝取材自詩篇二十五篇﹞
(c) 2004 Kyrios Culture Association

耶和華啊   我的心仰望袮
神啊我素來倚靠袮   求袮不要叫我羞愧
耶和華啊   我的心等候袮
求袮將袮道指示我  將袮的路教訓我

神啊求袮記念袮的憐憫和慈愛
因為這是亙古以來所常有
求袮不要記念我幼年的罪愆和我的過犯
求袮因袮恩惠慈愛記念我

主啊我心裡愁苦甚多求袮憐恤轉向我
求袮保護我的靈魂   求袮醫治我受傷的心
主啊我深知袮必將我的腳從網裡拉出來
因我要全心投靠袮   因我要專一等候袮
因這是袮給我的寶貴應許

感謝袮給我永不落空的應許

後記

在等候見證內容出現的期間,亦即是我重溫我過去的時候,神引證了四件事。其實當時我真是以為神會叫我忘記那位師兄,但‧‧‧

剛才於見證提及到我是一個會在失戀後容易將感情遷移到下一個所謂對象的身上﹝之後想起來,其實神也是想透過這個方法去讓我忘記之前那個﹞。我以為神又想這樣做,怎料神拿走了所有我跟單身男士接觸機會,例如在任何性質的聚會裡都不會有單身男士出現。我本身是不多跟男士交談,如無必要亦不會主動跟他們接觸。但當有機會接觸時,我每次的心都十分不平安。認清了這個引證之後,我更加減少跟男士接觸,與單身男士更保持距離。

神曾經利用忙碌去讓我忘記一些不快的事情。於去年的八月到十一月的期間,我忙碌得很─兩個頌恩旋律的projects、為母校編曲、本身的教學工作─都不知那時我是怎樣熬過來的。我當時又以為在周旋於忙碌之間我會忘記了那位師兄,怎料我天天都想念他。

神又天天透過facebook去remind me of him。Facebook右方的chat window會show一些online的人及randomly show一些 offline的人的名字。師兄是offline的,但他的名字卻天天出現。而且在我沒有瀏覽他的profile的情況之下﹝有一段時間我是avoid going to his profile﹞,神又經常讓他的posts出現在我的newsfeed裡。我又怎能忘記他?

之前於見證裡提及我特別的祈禱生活;其實當我去年八月決定冷靜的時候,我惆悵到很不想為師兄祈禱﹝去年四月已開始為他祈禱﹞。心想,完全不去想就可能okay了。怎料,當時已成了「啞巴」的我,連祈禱時也不能開聲,持續了幾天。我心裡問神:「不是嗎?祈禱也出不到聲,袮不想我祈禱嗎?」其實,那時我是特意逃避為師兄祈禱,而只為其他事祈禱。幾天後,我心中對師兄的思念波濤洶湧,我終於按捺不住要為他祈禱。就在那刻,我在祈禱時有聲了,但完成祈禱後又再失聲。隨後我重新開始每天為他禱告,至今已超過一年。初期我是有猶豫的,但如果我當天沒有為他祈禱,神就不會讓我結束禱告─即不能開聲講wrap up的說話─直到我完成為他祈禱為止。從此以後,我再沒有猶豫,再沒有間斷地為他祈禱。之前我說過我為他祈禱時會喜極而泣,其實直到現在都是,無論在開心不開心的日子裡面我都會在提起他時笑,只是現在祈禱的方向明顯了,內容都豐富了。而且神一定要我首先為他祈禱,否則又再失聲。

由去年完成見證後到現在,已經差不多一年。在這一年裡我又有另一番的經歷,只是留待下次再寫吧。不過有一件事我一定要提的就是,我於二零一二年九月二十六日再次擁有我的聲音。

當晚講完見證後我唱了一首詩歌,我再於下一個post上載歌詞。

見證

前言:於二零一一年十一月十二日,當我隨卡城頌恩旋律到Regina做concert tour時,作了以下的見證。我很驚訝神會叫我作這個見證,而預備過程亦頗艱辛。但終於在神恩手的帶領下,我在事先沒有人知道內容及毫無機會綵排的情況裡面完成了我的見證。以下是我當晚所講的;因當時時間有限,有些details我skip了。隨後會付上後記去補充。


大家好,我的名字叫Quennie。你們見到我的樣子,都估到我已不是十八廿二。很多人都會關注我的感情問題,但我並不喜歡經常將這樣東西掛在嘴邊,因為覺得很丟臉。由我十五歲第一次拍拖開始直到去年﹝即二零一零年﹞,我一共拍了三次拖,而三段感情都很快完結﹝縱然第二段感情經歷多次離合,但每一次由離到合,再由合到離的過程都很快﹞。而且,雖然每一段感情之間的所謂空白期都有數年時間,但我從來都沒有停止喜歡一些所謂對象無論是基督徒及單身與否,中國人洋人,有否我不能接受的生活習慣等等我都有喜歡過。總之,我at the moment click到的,我便不理一切投入感覺。我不是一個主動向人表達愛意的人,但卻是一個會製造機會去用誠意打動人的人。只要I can get a relationship going,其他的事慢慢work out吧。有時我會向神祈禱說:「希望袮會令這人信主」但其實我根本就不是真心為那人的信主而祈禱。有時我為了要得到或保留一段關係,我做了很多不榮耀神的事。正因如此,我一便是被人reject,再不是便是被男朋友拋棄。見到身邊朋友一個又一個遇到對象結婚,但我還是孑然一身,很唏噓。

直到去年跟第三任男友分手時,我經歷了一個轉捩點。他是一個非基督徒,但因為我之前等了四年,覺得等了很久又心急,所以縱使心裡有很多struggles及別人勸阻我都決定跟他拍拖。我們分開兩地,但我很努力維持關係,又向他傳福音。放假去探望他時我帶他去教會,但他始終不願意接受主。最終,拍拖半年後,他因為不能忍受分隔兩地便提出分手。分手後之後大概有三個月時間,我每天跟神bargain,又不時跟我前男友聯繫,希望可以挽救戀情。那幾個月之後,我發現他有了新女朋友,才猛然醒覺再沒可能挽救。神彷彿在告訴我:「Quennie,夠了,你要回來我身邊。」剛好,我那段時間要去BC省一個僻靜城市參加音樂營,可以散散心。那三個星期,我不是練習,便是冷靜自己。

完了trip之後一個星期,我在facebook見到我以前香港小學老師的一些照片原來她五年前﹝即二零零六年﹞都曾經參加過同一個音樂營。除了她跟一班學生外,我還見到一個人一位自從小學畢業之後都沒有聯絡的同校師兄。我在小學時只是跟他談話過一兩次,但我一直對他有印象,因為他以前在我們學校的music program裡是活躍分子,還要是「大粒」那種;他又是其中一位主任的兒子。我不知怎的,便膽粗粗在facebook send message給他。又不知怎的,我們好像重遇老朋友般exchange了很多很長的messages。如是者,我們在facebook談了一次、兩次、三次。到第三次﹝Edit: 其後偶然有一次瀏覽facebook時,發現是超過三次﹞時,我感覺有點不對勁,因為我是很容易在被人reject後移情別戀到另一個所謂向我獻殷勤或與我談得投契的人身上。我真的不想再重蹈覆轍,很想首先處理了我對前男友的感覺,所以就算我跟他談得很高興,我也選擇遠離他。

半年後,即大概今年﹝二零一一年﹞四月,我的小學老師邀請我去為他們的敲擊樂隊編曲。她還說原來那位師兄也曾經為他們的詩班編曲,鼓勵我去找他談談。我思疑一會之後,便在facebook message他。跟之前一樣,我們真是頗談得來。我霎時間發覺:「Eh? 這位男士很不錯!」但同一時間,我又想:「Oh no! 他是否基督徒?﹝雖然他有在facebookpost聖經金句,但沒有表明清楚﹞是否單身?﹝完全沒有表明﹞他又不同我住在同一城市,怎辦?」我將這件事交給神。

我開始主動一些在facebook找他傾談,亦不斷求神快些給我那兩個問題的答案﹝是否單身的基督徒﹞,因為以前就算答案一早在我面前,我也照樣胡亂投入感情。但我實在真的不想再於這件事上得罪神,所以寧願神快些給我答案,等我心息。神一直都沒有給我一個直接的答案,只是基督徒那個問題會從我們言談之間流露出來。我們傾談基本上都很愉快的,試過談起來可以長達三小時。但始終只在網上用文字交談,大家又未很熟,又有藝術家性格很敏感,所以比較容易惹起誤會。我記得有一次我跟他有些disagreement時,我問神:「神啊!袮是否想我繼續與他聯絡呢?」之後連續幾個星期,我都在facebook newsfeed 的頂部見到他之前一天所寫的東西,無論是一件事或十件事都一樣不漏地在頂部show出來。如果是一兩天,可能是巧合。但連續幾個星期,似乎神還是想我跟他有聯繫。

但又沒想過,就在那幾個星期之後,我跟他在facebook吵架。我當晚跟神說:「幹嗎那個人那麼難搞的?」之後我讀經時,一打開羅馬書十四章,便看到:「ACCEPT HIM」真是capital letter寫的!冷靜了一個星期之後,我鼓起勇氣寫了一個道歉message給他,亦在言語間暗示了我的心意。本來我想可能等他回覆我之後,大家平心靜氣談談吧。怎料,等了整整一個月,都沒有回音。我情急地問神說:「神啊?究竟發生甚麼事?為何這條路那麼難行?孩子自問今次在自己認知的情況之下已經沒有胡亂投入感情,已經算是無可指摘,袮想怎麼樣?究竟是否我還有東西未做好?我知道等候是我們基督徒經常要做的,但常常要我喜歡人又死心,兜兜轉轉,我已很累了。」我跪在地上哭了很久。

神沒有直接回答我的問題。在這幾個月的開始,我有嘗試跟那位師兄交談,但一會後因為felt awkward便停止了。神在我冷靜的時間讓我重溫我的過去。過往我實在太讓relationship操控我的生命,彷彿它才是我的神。我未首先尋求神的心意便自作主張﹝有些先斬後奏的感覺﹞,有時神已經叫我不要投入都要硬來。我會問多人意見,希望尋找一些慰藉。我重溫以前一些的日記,發覺自己真的很天真。我又不懂去等,只希望事情快些辦妥。一些無謂的struggles,很多為前男友們無謂的犧牲‧‧‧我很慚愧,明明自己是一個完美主義者,凡事要做足一百分,但感情上卻那麼亂七八糟!我跟神說,我不要再行舊路;我希望從此以後都可以在感情上榮耀祂。我亦不想再用human effort去尋求一些答案或令一些事情發生,只希望所有東西由神成就。


在這幾個月期間,我並不是時刻也那麼安穩。除了因為忙碌之外,我其實對神沒甚信心,有些怕神又再say no,又怕自己痴心妄想。以前正是這樣,便用了很多human effort做事,最後得罪了神又傷害了自己。我想神想幫我走過這條路,所以祂用祂的話語來安慰我。湊巧我團契正在讀創世記及出埃及記,裡面兩位屬靈偉人亞伯拉罕及摩西他們的故事我讀過很多次。但今次神讓我看到另一個角度他們都有很多軟弱的時間,但靠著神的恩典都行過了很多艱辛的道路。我跟神說,我也很希望靠著祂的恩典走過我艱辛的道路,希望今次能夠做得到。

除了祂的話語,神還用了很多方法來幫助我。這幾個月,為了頌恩旋律,為了我的工作,我真的忙得很,沒有時間憂慮太多﹝但並不代表沒有﹞。我有時喜歡自言自語去宣泄情緒,分析事情,但因為我曾經祈禱說不想用human effort去尋找一些答案,神竟令我在獨自一人時變了啞吧﹝除了祈禱時﹞,直到現在還是。甚至連祈禱生活也很特別:每當我祈禱時想起那位師兄或想提到他時,我都只會喜極而泣,接著便說不出話來。彷彿神在跟我說:「You have to focus on me, alone!

其實故事還沒有完結,我依然不知道神會怎樣帶領。坦白講,我有時真的會等得很灰心,而且會跟神「講數」。但當每一次跟神「講數」的時候,我更加發現自己的愚昧。無論怎樣,我依然愛神,相信祂會行神蹟奇事,我亦希望我可以盡我所能去榮耀祂。當現在一切還是未知數時,我願意繼續仰望這位全知全能的神,由祂指示我當選擇的道路。

Sunday, June 17, 2012

How Do I Love Thee?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of everyday's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

不要制止我 Don't Stop Me

不要制止我去接近你
不要制止我去抱著你
讓愛掀起彷流水
輕輕的飄盪進入你心裡
不要制止我去愛著你
不要制止我去靠緊你
就算一生匆匆走過
我願能共你編織愛之歌

Don’t stop me, from getting close to you;
Don’t stop me, from holding you.
May love flow like water
Slowly into your heart.
Don’t stop me, from loving you;
Don’t stop me, from standing by you.
Though life is short,
I still hope to write a love song with you.

QW

Sunday, January 29, 2012

傻老師如我

上個weekend我的studio舉行了recital,結束之後便要開始教新material。熟悉我job nature的人都知道我要教很多流行曲﹝尤其是打鼓的學生﹞,通常是學生request某首歌,我用一些時間去編寫drum tab,然後便再教他們。

著意編寫樂譜,是因為要訓練學生閱讀樂譜,亦因為要make sure我教的東西stays consistent。我沒有那麼多記性去記所有樂譜,有都想用於其他真正需要的方面,所以寧願write them down,不用我煩惱。

其實外面是有resource available,but it's hard to get what you really need. 可以free download而又合用的實在不多,都是一些普遍drummers都常用的,未必是我學生要的。有些歌只是partially available for free download,想要全首便要付錢。市面上是有一些drum music﹝不是method book﹞可以買,either逐首買或一本書買。但要實行這樣東西真的不容易,因為我學生的preferred music genres 和artists是很少重覆,一直以來我教的歌都只有幾首重覆過﹝是當他們不能decide what they want to learn時,I throw something out﹞,而他們極少每次stay with one artist。如果每次要為了一位學生想學一首歌而四出搜羅樂譜,公司及學生家長會不同意。整本書買回來,學生亦未必用得著。再者,那些樂譜都未必合乎學生程度﹝多數都是too hard for them﹞,我還是要modify。所以,我這位傻老師便用工餘時間為學生編寫合用的樂譜,同時亦research一下他們喜歡的artists的資料,參考一下他們的音樂。我的耗紙量當然加速,但總好過大家都浪費金錢。

坦白說,有時真的身心俱疲,畢竟編寫一份樂譜,無論深淺,都要花上一定時間。我說自己傻,是因為在沒有太優厚的報酬之下,我是可以選擇不這樣付出的。但我的心卻偏偏想將最好的給我的學生,希望他們有所得著。所以,我真的要不斷remind自己,當我attempt to fulfill my students' desire時,我同時在增值自己,因為這些也是我之前讀書時沒有接觸的。更加的,我是為上帝工作,日後在天家的報酬會更多。

Okay, done whining. Now I must continue my work.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

由遠至近‧‧‧

今早在facebook看到一張舊同學的engagement photo─男的是我小學一年級時跟我一起當班長,除了二年級沒有同班外便一直跟我同班的;女的是三年級開始一直跟我同班又同校車的。雖然小學畢業後十多年來大家甚少聯絡,但看到照片真的很窩心。

I don't know whether they have kept contact with each other all these years, and how they got together,但我記得女的是曾經移居加拿大多年,近年才回流香港。我不知道他倆有沒有信主,但這次的結合再一次引證everything is possible with God,祂的安排是很奇妙的。

衷心祝願我兩位舊同窗白頭到老、永結同心。:-)

Monday, December 05, 2011

Same Show, Different Places

All through this week I'm playing percussion in a Christmas production titled "Two from Galilee" at First Alliance Church.

7 years ago I played the same show for the same church, but at a different location. The previous location was only 20 minutes away from my house, and the current one would take at least twice as much time, depending on traffic. I have to drive along the busiest highway in Calgary - Deerfoot Trail (which I don't go on often), and it's rather nerve-racking to be on it during winter season (and in the evenings too) because you never know what kind of driving condition you would get. And my windshields are constantly dirty because of the mud you get from the snow. 

Furthermore, I am now playing this show with a different status. I was still a university student 7 years ago. School is out by December and I would have fairly flexible schedule. I would either chill at home (or study) or practice at the unversity until a certain time, and then grab something to eat and get going. Now, I'm a music instructor (and more). I have to cancel all my evening students in order to participate in the show. If I get to the venue early enough (again, depending on traffic), I may be able to grab a bite before the show. But tonight I didn't, unfortunately. By the time I arrived at the venue and set up, it was 3 minutes before the downbeat. I only finished my dinner now, at 11pm.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not whining here. Just some thoughts on my different stages in life.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

An interesting passage I came across last night ...

As Dorothy Sayers once remarked, we all have diabolical thoughts, but there's a world of difference in how we act on those thoughts, whether, say, we write a murder mystery or commit murder. If a person wrongs me unjustly, I have several options. I can seek personal revenge, a response condemned by the Bible. I can deny or suppress my feelings of hurt and anger. Or, I can take those feelings to God, entrusting God with the task of retributive justice. The cursing psalms are vivid examples of that last option. The authors are expressing their outrage to God, not to the enemy.

Instinctively, we want to clean up our feelings in our prayers, but perhaps we have it all backwards. Perhaps we should strive to take all our worst feelings to God. After all, what would be gossip when addressed to anyone else is petition when addressed to God. What is a vengeful curse when spoken about someone ('D*** those people!') is a plea of helpless dependence when spoken directly to God ('It's up to you to d*** those people - only You are a just judge').

I see the cursing psalms as an important model for how to deal with evil and injustice. I should not try to suppress my reaction of horror and outrage at evil. Nor should I try to take justice in my own hands. Rather, I should deliver those feelings, stripped bare, to God. as the Books of Job, Jeremiah and Habakkuk clearly show, God has a high threshold of tolerance for what is appropriate to say in a prayer. God can 'handle' my unsuppressed rage. I may well find that my vindictive feelings need God's correction - but by only taking those feelings to God will I have that opportunity for correction and healing. (165)

- Philip Yancey, Prayer (2nd Edition)

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

BP

Today I went to BP to talk over some performance stuff with a friend, and I saw an old couple having lunch together. They shared a few dishes. I thought the scene was pretty sweet. I hope, when I get old, that I could do the same with my husband. For you never know how much time you get to spend with each other; you have to treasure it while you have it. :-)

Sunday, November 20, 2011

煮飯

因為已經沒有跟父母住,所以煮飯煲湯要靠自己。雖不是十分「拿手」,但總算每日都可以吃得溫飽,有湯水滋補。

但近月實在太忙,買餸都不能花太多心機,去太多地方。通常都是每星期抽一晚下班後去Superstore旋風式購買需要的東西。沒辦法去大統華,因為大統華早關門,通常它關門時我都未下班。上班前我通常要做我freelance的工作,就算有時間我都寧願休息多過買完餸回家,然後再上班。Superstore關門時間較晚,而我去的時間通常很清閒,有時可以take my time.

因為以上種種,近來我煮餸煲湯的種類開始獨沽一味。例如雞翼,雖然我懂烹調幾款口味,但總不能一個月吃三四次雞翼吧﹝縱然我很喜歡吃﹞?湯水方面,除了補湯一定會有之外,近月我都已經煲了幾次蕃茄薯仔紅蘿蔔湯,救命!近來又不見Superstore有粟米賣,否則都可以煲粟米湯!

廚藝更加沒有時間鑽研,總之有時間put something together,夜晚有時間洗碗便算了。有時材料分量真的會被忽略─例如今晚當我煮咖哩雞翼時,我放了太多水,令到個汁太稀了。

還是下定決心找一天去一趟大統華吧。

Monday, October 31, 2011

今要主自己 Himself

I must say it's very hard to fully grasp the underlying meaning of this hymn. Probably I'll still not get it by the end of my life.

今要主自己 Himself
生命聖詩 Hymn of Life #393

1. 前所要是祝福,今所要是主;前所憑是感覺,今靠主言語;
前所要是恩賜,今要賜恩主;前我尋求醫治,今要主自己。

Once it was the blessing, now it is the Lord;
Once it was the feeling, now it is His Word;
Once His gift I wanted, now, the Giver own;
Once I sought for healing, now Himself alone.

2. 前用己力苦試,今完全信靠;前要一半救恩,今要全得救;
前常用手拉主,今主手牽我;前常漂流無定,今錨已拋妥。

Once was painful trying, now is perfect trust;
Once a half salvation, now the uttermost;
Once was ceaseless holding, now He holds me fast;
Once was constant drifting, now my anchor cast.

3. 前我忙於計劃,今專心祈求;前我非常掛慮,今有主眷佑;
前我隨己所欲,今聽主訓語;前我不住求問,今常讚美主。

Once was busy planning, now is trustful prayer;
Once was anxious caring, now He has the care;
Once was what I wanted, now what Jesus says;
Once was constant asking, now is ceaseless praise.

4. 前是自己作工,今靠主工作;前我欲利用主,今讓主用我;
前我尋求能力,今要全能主;前為自己勞碌,今為主而活。

Once it was my working, His it hence shall be;
Once I tried to use Him, now He uses me;
Once the pow'r I wanted, now the Mighty One;
Once for self I labored, now for Him alone.

5. 前我盼望屬主,今知主屬我;前我燈將熄滅,今照耀輝煌;
前我等待死亡,今候主再來;我一切的盼望,安妥主幔內。

Once I hoped in Jesus, now I know He's mine;
Once my lamps were dying, now they brightly shine;
Once for death I waited, now His coming hail;
And my hopes are anchored safe within the veil.
副歌:永遠高舉耶穌,讚美主不歇;一切在耶穌裡,惟祂是我一切。

Refrain: All in all forever, Jesus will I sing; Everything in Jesus, and Jesus everything.


Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Time to Let Go

I wrote this song while I was going through depression four years ago. As I was meditating last night, this song came to me again. I know, it's time to let go of my past.


Thank You for Saving Me 感激你救贖

One night I bowed down on my knees and cried
It's because my transgressions are far too deep
I always feel unworthy
Of God's love, His mercy and forgiveness
But Jesus says in His Words, "It's for you that I died,
Your sin has been paid in full by the blood I shed on the Cross."


一天我屈膝又暗淚垂
是我的悔疚深深百般罪尤
常在怨歎我不配
是基督祂恩惠跟祂愛憐
寧願捨身救罪人 讓苦杯傾倒主手中
為世擔當憂困 十架傾出救恩 盼望再點起


Thank You for saving me, O Lord
Now I'm free from all the wrongs
Only by Your love, I am able to leave my past behind
And move on to the future beyond
I'll give my life as a sacrifice
To You, Jesus Christ, may Your name be glorified


感激你救贖 我主

我今天已得釋放
深知因你的愛 我讓過去一切放低
張開雙眼看目前
我會將一生都獻奉
頌讚予基督 讓我高舉你聖名

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah. I worship You
(我敬拜你
)...

With all my heart, Amen.

Saturday, October 08, 2011

Dream Fulfilled?

Many years ago I wrote on a bookmark: 我心願在生活上事奉神,忠心為此事禱告。I don't recall why I wrote "生活上" as my wish, and I must confess I haven't earnestly prayed about it. Nevertheless, this bookmark has been in my bible since I wrote on it, and I would see it once in a while.

Tonight I asked one of my fellowship-mates to bring a pyrex container to the Thanksgiving potluck so I could bring her soup tomorrow. For she is very busy with her work and doesn't get time to cook. Plus she is pregnant. As I was preparing the soup, I suddenly remembered the things I wrote on this bookmark. I thought, perhaps this is what God wants me to do in regards to 在生活上事奉神 - 在生活上服侍弟兄姊妹.

Funny how God fulfills my dreams eh? Though I am not exclusively active in the fellowship, at least I am still doing something as a service, and I am happy about it.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

「驚」「喜」

新一個學年開始了。

已經在這間music studio工作了兩年。踏入第三年,新鮮感稍為欠奉,但驚喜依舊。

首先說說「喜」:感謝主今個學年so far學生人數十分穩定,因為去年夏天流失了很多學生,令我於秋季只擁有現時一半的人數。雖然throughout the school year人數gradually builds up,但我還是擔心了一段日子。However, 今個秋季我的學生人數卻是跟六月底時沒甚分別,這是令我喜出望外的。除了公司已開始上了軌道﹝這間studio是2009年9月開幕,我見工時店子還未renovate好﹞,retain了一班舊學生之外,另外亦有新學生加入。

第二,有幾位剛升上grade 7的打鼓學生都選擇了band為其中一個選修科,而且以percussion為他們的instrument。我十分欣慰─除了他們已經develop了some interest in drumming 外,亦expand了我教導他們的範疇。他們不再只focus on drum set,還要學其他percussion instruments and other techniques。

除此之外,亦感謝主看見一部份學生漸趨成熟。這一群學生裡,其中有幾個已經隨我學習有一年甚至兩年的時間。坦白說,當初some of them是令我十分「勞氣」─百厭又懶惰,令我摸不著頭腦,但我又不能大聲斥責他們﹝但亦不代表我不嚴格﹞,總之能夠get through到materials已經很好了。我心想,可能他們很快便quit lessons,那我便不用對著他們。但他們的parents也不願他們quit lessons,那我只好硬著頭皮去教導他們。可能經過時間相處,他們與我之間establish了一個好的rapport,而且他們亦開始定性了,我發覺他們今年很願意追求進步。我真的很高興,因為終於可以teach them some real stuff!

輪到「驚」:有學生進入成熟,但亦有其他學生有其他轉變。其中兩位剛剛進入kindergarten,他們的父母都希望他們能夠disciplined一些,所以會要求我嚴厲一些。其實我心中有數,知道對他們嚴厲一點是遲早的事,但可能以前曾經因為對人嚴厲而receive了很多negative comment﹝i.e.覺得我要求太高blah blah blah ...﹞,加上我老闆之前曾經叫我無論如何都要try to stay on the positive side,以免學生流失,令我有時心情忐忑。Anyhow,我真心想學生學好,而他們的父母又同意,所以有時都不可太過理會別人﹝even老闆﹞的評價了。

另一個「驚」便是,我今年多了一些advanced level的學生。鋼琴方面的advanced level都容易handle,因為都是跟著syllabus去教。但打鼓的advanced level便可困難了─縱然percussion一向有syllabus,但我的學生多數只focus on drum set,不能跟syllabus,而且每個學生preferred style都有不同。例如,我是come from more of a classical background,非常著重technical development, theory and individual practice,對於那些打慣rock music,通常learn by ears and jamming的人來說,他們會否接受我的教導方法呢?他們會否明白其實很多不同方式的learning style都可通行呢?我又怎樣可以向他們introduce my ideas without getting them bored呢?而且,我們studio是會教流行歌曲的,但有很多我是不懂的,是要我特意去聽的。今年挑戰還要大一點:有幾位學生要學heavy rock/heavy metal music,那我怎辦?我雖然都有selectively聽這類型的歌曲,但我真的很selective,因為真的不是我的preference,而且有些material是意識不良的﹝雖然時下很多歌曲都是意識不良﹞。求神給我智慧,用適當的方法教導他們。

This will be an interesting year.

Friday, September 09, 2011

Anecdote

Q = Quennie S = Student

S: Look Quennie, I have 4 wiggly teeth now. I don't like this!

Q: Oh poor sweetheart. But this is part of life!

S: I don't like life because it gives me too many wiggly teeth!

Q: *smile*

S: And you know what, I have such a busy schedule. After school, I come to piano lesson. And then I go for slurpee. And then I go home and have 3 hours of sleep, and then I have dinner and go sleep again. I don't have time for piano practice!

Q: (trying to hold her laughter) Why can't you take 15 minutes off your 3-hour sleep and practice the piano?

S: Because I am sleepy.

Q: But you sleep a lot already ...

S: Yeah, but ... (and she goes on and on)


To some extent, I wish I am a kid again. Wiggly teeth and sleep will be all I have to worry about. ;-)

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Encouragement to Hope & Grace‏

Encouragement to HOPE

You can hold on to HOPE-no matter what happens
because there's One who's holding on to YOU.
He'll stop at nothing and do anything
to make sure you have everything you need.
I'm waiting in hope with you to see all God will do.

He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all-
how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things? Romans 8:32


Encouragement to GRACE
You've got everlasting arms beneath you,
love all around you,
GRACE to see you through,
and enough strength to make it too.

You're supported in ways you can't see,
more than you know,
and the God whose heart beats with love for you
will never let you go.

The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. Deuteronomy 33:27

-Holley Gerth, DaySpring